Kim Kelly Whines; Facebook Censors Fan Page

Facebook deleted the  hilarious “Kim Kelly’s Hand” fan page that a few Death Metal Underground readers made in awe of her claw hand and how she is able to type ever-flowing streams of diarrhea despite such a hideous deformity. Facebook accused those few hilarious metal heads of bullying. Apparently jabs at a public figure are not allowed on Facebook’s socialist worker’s playplace. Kim Kelly is the crustfund communist Vice Noisey fake journalist, serial liar, alleged groupie, and supposedly hypocritical racist trying to ruin the careers of metal bands she finds politically objectionable. Kelly called Dismember and Cannibal Corpse sexist and constantly shills for crappy crossover thrash, noise rock, hipster whine rock, and female-fronted deathcore bands.

However “Kim Kelly’s hand” succeeded in making the Marxist proponent of white genocide cry from underneath her bridge:

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40 thoughts on “Kim Kelly Whines; Facebook Censors Fan Page”

  1. FUCK YOU! says:

    I don’t give a fuck you moron

    1. tiny midget says:

      people want to fuck me.

      but i don´t let them.

      1. fuck_norgay says:

        Why would anyone want to get AIDS?

  2. sans says:

    It turns out that Kim Kelly got so triggered over that parody page that she went and created a social justice hashtag over it.

    1. Diarrhea 4 Deafheaven says:

      Everyone there is into “metal” and… something else. Marketing/social engineering with a certain spin. Nothing more, nothing less. What a shame.

    2. canadaspaceman says:

      Disabled people into metal think they will be respected by exposing their weaknesses ?
      You know what happens when disabled people whine and are part of a twatter hashtag? Do you what happens?
      They just made The List !

      1. Jerry Hauppa says:


      2. Syphilis says:

        Social media itself is The List. At least thats what I tell myself.

    3. GGALLIN1776 says:

      That igynaz homo buttslammed her & all the other whiney pseudo gimps. Wtf is that invisible shit, “BAHHH MY CREVICE FEELS SANDY, FETCH MY RETARD OLYMPICS TAMPON”.

  3. Rainer Weikusat says:

    I’ve been surprise-attacked and beaten until I was unconscious for “socially inacceptable differentness” two times in my life and once because a group of punks I invited to a lot of beer for some confused reason stole my tobacco and jacket and then got annoyed with me keeping to ask for it (I admit that I asked the guy who threatened to do this for my tobacco immediately after the threat :-). I’ve also gone through an earlier phase where (groups of) people in my so-called home town where literally hunting me for the fun of it, with numerous lesser violent encounters, like 4 – 5 guys throwing stones at me from behind during a boy scouts march. And I’ve been lucky in this respect because I survived all of this. Spend some time with your favority ‘dawn of the black hearts’ cover photo here. For instance, this demonstration of utter tastelessness:

    1. Stealing tobacco is a serious crime. If it was HU Tobacco, doubly so.

    2. S.C. says:

      Do you carry a sidearm now?

      1. LostInTheANUS says:

        He’s German, having firearms as a kuffar is unislamic and punishable by death.

      2. Rainer Weikusat says:

        Anything resembling a weapon usuable for self-defence is usually illegal in most of Europe, certainly in both Germany and the UK.

        But this wasn’t a statement about me.

        1. Syphilis says:

          Last I heard, you can still get a baton, or a taser in Poland.

        2. GGALLIN1776 says:

          Man up & carry a weapon anyways Rainer. Just make sure it’s cheap enough where you can ditch it if the cops are chasing you. I don’t leave home without some sort of weapon on me, I get attacked by jigabooboo’s too often not to. It’s not like I have a shaved head & wear swastikas anymore so they really have no reason to target some long hair aside from being white.

          There was one time a car full of them pulled up to me while I was out getting some exercise & said “you want some of this?”, I thought I was gonna get jumped so I went closer so I could atleast try to get em before they got out of the car. Dingbat in the back seat reapeats what he said a few seconds ago & I ask him what he means. Cocksucker throws a small pail of powdered bleach in my face. I pull out a VERY large knife & go to stab the guy in the throat. The coalburner that was driving them around freaks out with the rest of them & slams on the gas. The blade ended up hitting the car instead of the guy. For a while I kept looking for them but couldn’t find their car anywhere. A couple months back a car pulls up to me at a stop light & some black guy asks me the same question while holding something (it was at night so it was hard to see). Instead of asking “what?” this time, I said fuck you & rolled up my window. It didn’t occur to me til after I got down the road that it could’ve been the same guy. If it happens again i’m just gonna drag him out of the car & beat him unconscious lol.

          1. Rainer Weikusat says:

            Hmm … people who act on this way usually want to mark a territory on the grounds that anyone who isn’t obviously a customer is probably a (future) rival. Thanks to the highly efficient war on ducks and the uneasy ceasefire in the equally efficient war on women who do it for less than a house in the country, both usually involve gang crime, hence, getting into contact with these people is an everyday experience for lone pedestrians. “Be polite, walk straight & mind your own business” has worked for me so far (and deal with the occasional low status associate looking for a soft target).

    3. Syphilis says:

      Why further deface yourself with such stories? Have you considered that there is some reason why such things happen to you and perhaps try to avoid getting into such detrimental situations?

      1. Rainer Weikusat says:

        Why did I knew that someone would be over-keen on missing both the content and the point of this?

        Short summary of the latter: Metalinjection, one of the sites Kelly writes for, apparently see nothing wrong with labelling some autist (very likely) guy who committed suicide in very drastic way because he went through more shit than me (and I went through more shit than ‘people making fun of me on the internet’) as ‘criminal’ and poking fun at him for his ‘retarded nature’ including linking to the picture in question, with absolutely no regard for the ‘feelings’ of his family and other involved people.

        But someone cracking silly jokes about a living person based on her looks is A Very Serious Matter[tm]. Could there perhaps be some kind of double standard here?

        1. GGALLIN1776 says:

          You probably already know this Rainer but everything the left says or does is hypocritical, they want double standards in every situation where the “beneficial” end applies to them.

          If they truly got this equality that they scream about, they would all be six feet under right now. Instead they want everyone that is actually capable of doing anything right in life to be served up a serious disadvantage.

    4. GGALLIN1776 says:

      That part about the boy scouts reminds me of high school (No I wasn’t still a scout in HS lol), the way home from the bus stop was about a 2 mile walk & the dickheads that got off at that stop beat the shit out of me every day from freshman til junior year. At first it was just kicks & punches, but later it progressed to actual weapons, be it stones being thrown or glass bottles & branches. One day I even got stabbed in the chest.

      The first time that I got high was one day when they said if I smoked with them they wouldn’t beat me. I didn’t want to smoke but I also didn’t want to be beaten. So they literally held me down on the snowy road & made me smoke. After that they stuffed my clothes with snow then beat the shit out of me anyways. Down the road I mouthed off to some guy that was talking shit & I ended up on the ground & being kicked in the head with steel toe boots. I woke up a few hours later with a brutal headache.

      Anyways it stopped junior year because one night at a keg party I beat the shit out of two of them. I had started working out & got pretty big after I got on insulin so I started sticking up for myself. Someone kept tossing beer on me & I thought it was this one particular guy. I think it was the second time it happened & I just started punching him in the face. He started saying “it wasn’t me” so I stopped. It happened again & it turns out it was another guy that gave me years of hell. Someone pushed me into him & he swung at me hitting me in the head. I black out & the next thing I know I’m on the ground beating the guys head in. I only came to because his buddy was punching me in the head trying to get me off of him, he was screaming about being murdered or something like that lol. He had to be carried to the hospital after passing out from blood loss, I put a 3″ crack in his skull from hitting him so hard with rings on, he needed a few staples.
      The story goes on a bit but I don’t feel like taking up the page with a novella.

  4. Lance in the streets, Virgin in the sheets says:

    DLA/DMU could have been a well respected site because the quality and analysis is higher than any other metal publication around. But these sorts of shenanigans and relentless trolling irreparably tarnished its reputation. Still, this is the culture of the site(s). Even more it’s the culture of metal as a whole. It’s not high brow nor has ever had aspirations otherwise. Complainers and detractors really need to get that in their heads. The Kim Kelly, sodomize the weak, AIDs, and shit jokes aren’t my taste either. But let’s not all sit here and pretend we listen to metal but don’t love attacking sacred cows/idols and covering Christ in black shitposts. You have to be a bit of a curmudgeon and blasphemer to like metal in the first place.

    Transylvanian Hunger sucks and there’s no monomaniacal monarch spinning the gears of the universe, etching into it a sacred status for the album or for anyone or anything. Blind deeds of chaos rule.

  5. xTracksuitxLoverx says:

    Only Windows XP is real !

  6. Deepdick says:

    100% behind faceberg deleting that retarded page. It’s like making a fan page for that chick from arch enemy about her polycystic ovary syndrome with screen shots of giant extra absorbent tampons and talking about how shitty her band is.

    1. don moratt says:

      I’d be 100% behind it too if I didn’t want faceberg behind me 100%.

      1. Grand Phallus says:

        Only Uncut is Real!

  7. Kim Kelly's Good Hand says:

    Kim Kelly wages war against the underground, and cries when the underground fights back. Nothing is off limits, not even her mangled ass hand. Fuck that whiny sjw bitch. She reaps what she sows.

    1. LostInTheANUS says:

      The Mancubus cries out in pain as it strikes you.

  8. Weltmacht says:

    I can’t say I’m surprised or sad. There are a ton of real reasons to criticize and to not like Kim Kelly that don’t involve her physical deformity. This will turn out to be a really embarrassing, counterproductive episode in the history of this site. In the past, she basically adopted the Brianna Wu model of calling all criticism of her work “harassment” and now she actually has a pretty legitimate claim to being harassed, which will in turn make it harder to question her on any platform with moderation. Hopefully DMU can find some staff members who weren’t raised on chan culture.

    1. Rob says:

      But taking the high road with SJWs never works. She is the Megyn Kelly of the metal scene is needs to be dealt with the same way that the President would.

      1. Weltmacht says:

        For me, it’s not a question of high road/low road, it’s purely about not distracting from the main point, which is that she’s a terrible influence on metal who is trying to reshape the genre into some “inclusive,” “socially conscious” hippie shit. That level of retardation alone was enough to make people hate her before anyone even knew about her hand. Now after this we’re going to have to deal with another flood of articles from every fag with a blog about “toxic masculinity” and ableism and misogyny in metal.

        1. GGALLIN1776 says:

          Any faggot writing a blog like that should have their asses kicked. If they won’t come to their senses on their own, you’ll have to beat the stupid out of them.

        2. Svmmoned says:

          “I’m not ableist, I listen to Nocturnal Depression”

  9. I overdosed on Prozak says:

    What’s actually being gained from this apart from a few giggles?
    It’s not as if she’ll go away.

  10. Astronaut Bread says:

    If you read her complaining in the second pic she says she “…loved (metal) enough to try and save it.” From itself, obviously. Yuck.

    This whole faceburp thing was stupid and just gives her more of a reason to stick around as well as giving her a legitimate (in the eyes of those who want ‘inclusiveness’ in metal) reason to whine and promote idiocy.

  11. GGALLIN1776 says:

    Oh boohoo Grim Quim, go get sodomized with a cheap doorknob that was smacked by a hatchet. Those jagged edges might give you something real to cry about you stupid gimp. We all know that your trve disability is having that fugly face.

    I hope to someday see you passed out backstage after you mouth service a bunch of bums by the buses so I can take a chunky, runny shit in your mouth. After that you shall be known as oreo mouth for the playful medly of scat & semen that filled your commie yap trap. Maybe a pornogrind band will write a song about it.

    I saw some stupid hipster wearing a Burzum Hvis lyset tar oss shirt in a porno the other day. I also saw some archeologist wearing one in a documentary about The Battle of the Somme. It would have been much more entertaining if it was the same movie, “WW1 Battlefield Pussy Pt.2 : Battle of The Cumme”.
    Uncle Varg is getting popular.

    1. canadaspaceman says:

      I was disgusted by this post, very much, so, i would like to offer you this free inflatable couch, or Subway free sandwich card, neither of which I plan to send, so you can feel as much pain as the claw-pussy.

  12. canadaspaceman says:

    I seen that Burzum shirt in a porno too. For those that care – search for ” Skinny Teen With Huge Tits Extreme Anal Sex – Stella Cox Burzum “

  13. Vargs-gas-can says:

    The only hilarious thing here is that you guys had to use a condition she was born with to get at her. And now you’ve ruined a site just to try and get someone you don’t like butthurt. It’s desperate and obsessive and hilariously pathetic. It’s word then the cuck memes on Reddit. Between the few of you who made this you guys couldn’t come up with a single witty meme. I don’t think you got zucct for the content, I think Facebook lied to let you down easy. You’re insult page was so boring and generic it was insulting to other insult pages.

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