Sadistic Metal Reviews: Against Maoist Picks for 2017


Reviews by Linus Douglas.

Maoist metalcore fan Vince Neilstein has defecated upon the Internet once more by displaying the gaping asshole of his mind in an attempt to make mid-year “metal” recommendations in 2017. Like most of that Communist website’s picks, Neilstein is catering to a communist agenda on the one hand, and being a bitch to the monetary interests of the Guevarean movement of good-for-nothings by picking big label turds.

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Matt Harvey Gives MetalSucks the Reach Around

Matt Harvey of deathcore band Exhumed was called up to provide a contrary viewpoint on Decibel Magazine’s website to MetalSucks’ call for a proscription of Hells Headbangers Records, circlejerking around the Blast Beat advertising network.

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#Metalgate: Nyogthaeblisz Excluded From Maryland Show For “Racism”

Washington, DC area crust punk and metalcore scenesters decided that anti-religious Texan black metal band Nyogthaeblisz were racist and got their show at Gaithersburg, Maryland tattoo parlor Raw Ink canceled according to the Washington City Paper and moved to a Philadelphia bar hours away.

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Metal-Archives’ Marxist Mania

Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Richard Sullivan.

Western civilization is currently gripped in a culture war unlike any that preceded this one. You may ask what makes it so different than the others, considering the West witnessed a similar one of its kind back in the late 1950s with the emergence of the New Left. Arguably, there’s never been a real difference in the left’s rhetoric. For as long as anyone cares to remember, white, heterosexual, “cisgender” men, who maintain the “capitalistic, racialized, cisnormative patriarchy” have always been at the center of their ideological attacks. The only thing that has changed has been their ability to have said rhetoric heard beyond the confines of university lecture halls. It was rare to encounter an enlightened™ human™ bombarding you with vitriol and threats of violence – because you failed to recognize the intersectionality between race™, gender™, and sexuality™ – outside a gender studies class. Of course, these things still occur, but with greater frequency, and to the point where a flash mob of overweight, hipster beta males twerking in tutus in a school’s atrium is viewed as them just “expressing themselves”, but, more boldly, as an act of defiance against conventional norms of masculinity.

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Real Sex with Social Justice Warriors Short Story Contest

Death Metal Underground has not run a contest in quite some time; since we found our slogan: “Sodomize the Weak” from Blood‘s O Agios Pethane. Our staff collectively feels it is time for another round. Social justice warriors, antifascists, and communists have been annoying the heavy metal world lately. We have decided to counter back with a short story contest.

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Kim Kelly Whines; Facebook Censors Fan Page

Facebook deleted the  hilarious “Kim Kelly’s Hand” fan page that a few Death Metal Underground readers made in awe of her claw hand and how she is able to type ever-flowing streams of diarrhea despite such a hideous deformity. Facebook accused those few hilarious metal heads of bullying. Apparently jabs at a public figure are not allowed on Facebook’s socialist worker’s playplace. Kim Kelly is the crustfund communist Vice Noisey fake journalist, serial liar, alleged groupie, and supposedly hypocritical racist trying to ruin the careers of metal bands she finds politically objectionable. Kelly called Dismember and Cannibal Corpse sexist and constantly shills for crappy crossover thrash, noise rock, hipster whine rock, and female-fronted deathcore bands.

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Leftists Censor Fake News to Suppress Dissent

Lame duck United States president and affirmative action baby Barack Obama said that the media needs a “curating function” to get rid of all the “fake news” popping up on various media outlets. A New York Post editorial correctly pointed out that this is an attempt by the leftists, communists, and the Democratic Party establishment to censor the real news and media flow from online outlets and Fox News that publicly supported president elect Donald Trump and questioned the neoliberal social narrative the left has been forcing down the throats of everyone from birth over the last half century.

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New York Times Accuses Varg Vikernes of Being “Alt-Right”

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Democratic Party shilling and identity politics peddling newspaper the New York Times labeled Varg Vikernes of Burzum as “alt-right” in yet another social justice warring piece whining about Donald Trump’s triumph. “Alt-right” has seemingly become a new scarlet letter for neoliberal propagandists to paint their conservative opponents who aren’t the Republican Party’s traditional Christian and business interest constituents. Modern leftists can never appeal to the competent, gainfully employed, and rational so they must constantly invent new slurs to slander those who see straight through the thin veneer of the liberal social narrative plastered over urban societal rot.

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#Metalgate: The A.V.Club Gets Burzum Merch Pulled From Wal-Mart

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Hipster multimedia review website The A.V. Club accused Wal-Mart of “normalizing” Burzum by stocking Burzum‘s merchandise online through a third party a few days ago. Wal-Mart pulled all of their Burzum merchandise today. The A.V. Club fails to understand that Burzum was a major metal innovator and tabloid fodder, making Varg Vikernes about as well-known as actual black metal will ever get.

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