I went fishing in Pennsylvania today and forgot to bring water to prevent myself from dehydrating on the water in the spring heat. Not wanting to drink industrial run-off pond scum, I went to the bodega next to the bait ‘n’ tackle shop and pick-up the cheapest multi-pack of bottled water the store stocked: Yuengling Light Lager.
12 CommentsTags: beer, bottled water, lager, soft drink, yuengling, yuengling light lager
Another previously unreviewed record judged some of The Best Underground Metal of 2016.
Mount Um + 1997 Demo is a digital anthology collecting what Steve Cefala judged to be Dawning‘s strongest material. Half the run-time (“Side A”) is one new, extended track entitled Mount Um in three parts: “Pilgrimage to Umunhum”, “The Albino Bridge Sacrement”, and a melodic bass outro. Mount Um sounds like Summoning worshiping Emperor‘s In the Nightside Eclipse in a lengthy composition reminiscent of Celtic Frost‘s album work. Ambient fantasy keyboards are perverted into pandemonium as if on an arduous journey of great hardship and loss culminating in a bittersweet victory over the uncaring, vicious forces of nature. Mount Um‘s composition is progressive and profound.
11 CommentsTags: anthology, Black Metal, dawning, demo, hate your guts records, mount um + 1997 demo, review, steve cefala
Article by George Psalmanazar.
Satan‘s Court in the Act exists in a unique space between the New Wave of British Heavy Metal and speed metal. As a wholly metal album that attempts no pandering to mainstream radio rock unlike seemingly every other NWOBHM band, Court in the Act is by far the strongest studio album of that sub-genre/movement and incredibly influential to American speed metal bands Metallica, Megadeth, and Slayer.
17 CommentsTags: Court in the Act, Heavy Metal, listenable records, neoclassical, neoclassical metal, NWOBHM, review, Satan, Speed Metal
Review contributed to Death Metal Underground by Edward Colt.
Suffocation overreaches on this one. Favoring the pubescent Call Of Duty crowd, they have fully bent over and accepted that their last handful of albums are: video game music. With new artwork that looks like something out of Mass Effect, all …Of the Dark Light invokes is some strange ground between nerd-rage and ravehead drug bingers. The cover artwork could be the poster of some corn field sponsored outdoor rave event in your nearest rural area away from seemingly never-ending suburban sprawl.
14 CommentsTags: ...of the dark light, cash grab, new track, nuclear blast records, review, shit, Speed Metal, suffocation, techdeaf
Bill and Ted found themselves wandering through the middle east, somewhere. The time machine had finally shorted out when Ted connected it to his iPad, causing a brief detour through 1968 Christopher Street in New York and a Royal Navy frigate in 1780 at rum ration time before crashing somewhere into this Semitic wonderland.
34 CommentsTags: bill and ted, democracy, j.r.r. tolkien, jesus christ, Kim Kelly, paul ledney, profanatica, sodomy, tolkien, van halen
Death Metal Underground has not run a contest in quite some time; since we found our slogan: “Sodomize the Weak” from Blood‘s O Agios Pethane. Our staff collectively feels it is time for another round. Social justice warriors, antifascists, and communists have been annoying the heavy metal world lately. We have decided to counter back with a short story contest.
28 CommentsTags: antifa, antifascist, antifascists, communism, communists, metalgate, sjws, social justice warrior, socialists, stupidity
Profanatica and Cianide are playing the 2017 iteration of the Destroying Texas festival along with a bunch of shitty scenester bands like Black Witchery. Check them out if you live nearby; Profanatica are still great live despite the last album, The Curling Flame of Blasphemy, being a turd. Tickets are available from EventBrite.
17 CommentsTags: Black Metal, black witchery, cianide, death metal, destroying texas fest, festivals, houston, houston texas, profanatica, texas
Sepultura‘s Morbid Visions is my favorite thirty year old album. Released in Brazil on November 10th, 1986, Morbid Visions saw Sepultura slither past the primitive Hellhammer, Celtic Frost, and Sodom worship of their initial Bestial Devastation extended play (included as a bonus on almost all CD versions of Morbid Visions) and into ultraviolent, progressive but still primitive, death and black metal.
15 CommentsTags: 1986, anniversary, Black Metal, Brazil, death metal, igor cavalera, jairo tormentor, max cavalera, morbid visions, progressive, progressive metal, sepultura
Unaussprechlichen Kulten have a new record, Keziah Lilith Medea (Chapter X), coming out on Iron Bonehead Productions June 2nd. Baphomet Pan Shub-Niggurath was good so this is one of the few death metal releases this year that Death Metal Underground is looking forward to. Hopefully our staff won’t stick the CD in the toaster upon hearing the new Sammath record.
12 CommentsTags: chile, death metal, iron bonehead, Iron Bonehead Productions, new album, unaussprechlichen kulten, upcoming release
I went on a hike this week with a few of my colleagues to appreciate the forested beauty of the natural world. We eventually lit a fire and toasted some marshmallows and frankfurters. One of my fellow heshers was German and carried around a package of expired hot dogs during his hike that he intended to eat at room temperature. I convinced him to put aside his barbaric hunger and save the sausages for the evening cookout.
13 CommentsTags: beer, lager, miller, miller lite, molsoncoors, pee, pilsner, piss, seltzer, soft drink
