(Editor’s note: This review has been redacted after author went to the comments section and bitched about 20 meaningless paragraphs being edited out. Let this be a lesson: there’s no whining in death metal. Don’t be a pussy!)
In my small mid-western town, everyone but one guy went to the new Star Wars™ Disney film, The Last Jedi. That is, if “everyone” means all of the hipsters, SWPLs, corporate cucks, bro-hold-my-beer, 4chan neckbeards, backyard shed dwelling NEETs, goodguy white knight Mormons, and SJWs count as “everyone.” The one guy stayed home because he had power diarrhea but his friends kept texting him pictures and updates.
Review contributed to Death Metal Underground by Kyle.
Hey bruh you wouldn’t believe what just happened to me. Ive been squatting in Venice Beach for a few days playing the first Disciples of Mockery record to my crystals. Twenty minutes ago they started projecting all kinds of imagery on the walls warping reality around me. I was having Kaleidoscopic autistic blood visions dude. One of them was the vocalist Craig Pillard and he opened his mouth like he was going to eat my face but he didn’t man he spoke to me.
News article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Lucius Vorenus.
BLASPHAMAGOATCHRIST took down their Tyrannic Empire demo from Youtube. While it’s too soon to tell whether or not this has anything to do with the previous article, it bears repeating what we know at this point in time.
A “War Metal Maniac” calling himself “Nokturnal Thrall to 7-11, Glutinous Devourer of Transmogrified Phallus” submitted a story of an encounter of his to Death Metal Underground in light of Gorgowocoa’s recent revelations of disgusting degeneracy.