Le berceau de Satan – Porteur de lumiere (2017)

Ahhh, Canada, America’s hat. And then there is Quebec, Canada’s ass-neck. Today’s band, Le berceau de Satan (Cradle of Satan) hails from the beautiful town of Sanguenay, Quebec. Looking at some pictures of the town and area, one would think that there is ample natural inspiration for an atmospheric black metal band. However, in the case of Porteur de lumiere (Bringer of Light), released this March, this is clearly not the case.

In honour of the confused, mish-mash presentation of the album, I will now present my review in the form of stream of consciousness.

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Whiny Leaf Metal Singer Disparages American Workers

Ivor Whitten, the useless vocalist of the D-grade Canadian thrash metal band Anvil, complained in a recently published radio interviewtarget=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external” about how American workers are lazy and would all take welfare if they could. As many of us know, Ivor and Anvil’s entie legacy is their depressing but well marketed documentary on how being in a metal band is hard and they don’t have any money to go to the Asian sushi place near Niagra Falls after 20 years of playing generic thrash metal that was never good. Obviously triggered by the bored response the band receives at their American shows along with the tragic realization that he and his fellow musicians only were able to make money by getting people to feel sorry for them upon seeing their pathetic life story, Ivor foolishly proclaimed:target=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external”

From my personal experience, in America, it’s pretty much taken for granted and people kind of look at it like, ‘So what?’ Because people in that country, generally speaking, are lazy, and if they can go on welfare, they will. They don’t have work ethics. So how could they relate to a story about somebody who keeps trying and being faced with adversities and failures?”

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Messe des Morts Returns

The annual Canadian black metal festival Messe des Morts is being held this year despite last year’s edition of the festival being shutdown by communists, anti-fascists and social justice warriors supported by the Montreal police as nationalist bands Graveland and Forteresse were booked to play. The 2017 edition will be held on November 23rd through 25th in Montreal according to the released flyer. Hopefully Messe des Morts will fight back against the leftist manlets this time around.

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Into Oblivion Start Recording Paragon

Canadian experimental death/black metal band Into Oblivion announced on their Funbook page that they are beginning the recording process for their next record, Paragon, tonight after more than five years of writing and refining their material. Hopefully Into Oblivion will have used their time wisely to improve upon Creation of a Monolith.

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Cromlech & Into Oblivion June 16th Show

Cromlech are playing a show June 16th in Toronto, Canada to celebrate the release of their recent Iron Guard EP. Opening are Into Oblivion (with whom Cromlech share three members) and Traitor. Toronto heavy and power metal fans should check this out.

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