Watain – Trident Wolf Eclipse (2018)

Grammy-award wining artist Watain has shamelessly assumed the mantle of “most embarrassing band masquerading as black metal” previously shared by Dimmu Borgir and Cradle of Filth. Where the downfall of those two bands was an overdose of gothic and groove influences, Watain has managed to outdo both in both parody and bastardization of black metal with their previous album’s venture into country musical territory.  With a career built on celebrity guest spots from more capable underground metal musicians, necrophiliac 1st era Bathory Worship mixed with a second rate attempt to mimic Dissection’s concluding album, and a ridiculously cartoonist theatrical performance worthy of a Broadway musical, Watain’s legacy has been secured to forever be “the band that bent over farthest to inherit the phallus of commercialization the deepest” and has effectively decimated any hope of legitimacy the sub genre might have had in the post-90s.  With a brash new attestation in the form of Trident Wolf Apocalypse the truth could not possibly be more clear to any listener with knowledge of black and death metal: Watain are the biggest joke in all of black metal history.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Zyklon B For Bandcamp

Hipster and poseur blood must be shed!

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Metal Molester 2017 So Far SMR


Article by Linus Douglas.

As these Observer posers speed past 2017’s halfway point, they present a selection that is indeed a dumpster fire representative of the shit pool that their mainstream metal listening provides them with. Only those who need to be eradicated (rapists, communists, child molesters, serial killers, hipsters, etc.) genuinely think that stoner rock and boring, slow heavy rock bands are examples of heavy metal. Their piss-poor “culling” (badass, huh?) from the “metal cauldron” of mee-maw’s recipes was as follows:

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Whoredom Rife – Dommedagskvad (2017)


Review contributed by Jon Browning.

Whoredom Rife are exactly what is wrong with modern “underground” “metal”. All these posers do is take a bunch of riffs from records over twenty years old, chop them up, and randomly attach a few of them together to make… a track.

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Desecrating Satan’s Hipster Country Club Resort


Reviews contributed by Norma Angelina Dagostino.

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Wolves in the Throne Room Release Random Riff Salad

Hipster screamos Wolves in the Throne Room released a new track and music video from their upcoming album Thrive Woven, which releases September 15th, 2017 on Artemisia Records.

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The Mask of Yosuke Konishi

Metal interview blog Bardo Methodology interviewed Nuclear War Now! Productions owner Yosuke Kinishi earlier this week about his motivations for starting his mostly war metal label. Konishi spoke about his mild misanthropy, veganism, “die hard” edition cash grabs, and how most war metal bands (presumably on his label) fail to live up to the social Darwinism they spout.

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