Upcoming Black Sabbath Splatter Vinyl Boxed Set

Black Sabbath are releasing an upcoming splatter vinyl box set of their entire original first run of albums with Ozzy Osbourne performing vocals. Sound quality does not seem to be the name of the game for The Ten Year War as everyone with any experience listening to LPs on a big boy turntable setup knows that splatter vinyl almost always sounds terrible. Rather The Ten Year War is a collectible for obsessive-compulsive Sabbath maniacs and hipsters who will play and probably ruin the not very high-fidelity splatter discs on some cheap turntable from Amazon or Target.

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Entrails Preview “World Inferno”

Z-list Entombed ripoff Entrails posted the title track “World Inferno” from their upcoming World Inferno album coming out June 16th on Metal Blade Records. Nobody asked for another Entrails album. Entrails albums are shelf-turds meant to take up space from better, more worthy fans. Big metal labels release them to flood the market and prevent others from gaining a foothold in it. Entrails weren’t good enough to make in back in the early 90s and aren’t good enough to make it now. “World Entrails” is rock-structured death ‘n’ roll bull diarrhea just like later Entombed. I would rather eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while sipping a juice box through a straw like a six year old than listen to “World Beater” again.

Vice Magazine’s Embarrassing French Black Metal Film

As part of their quest to ruin everything interesting and appealing about both metal and life, the gullible cronies of media pyramid scheme Vice Magazine have journeyed to the grim countrysides of the French black metal underground to film what is undoubtedly the most boring film in the history of music. While Vice markets this abomination as a “documentary” calling it such is actually a misleading statement as the film is little more than a collection of autistic ramblings without a single question or narrative statement. In any case, the eyesore is a bastardization of the region’s legacy as any shred of decency still possessed by the founding members of Mutiilation and Drakkar Productions have been urinated directly into the toilet as they hammed it up for the same forces that they claim to be rebelling against. Fortunately, the film’s lack of credible sources and unbelievably poor post-production prevents it from succeeding in the demystification of what was once one of the more intriguing regional black metal scenes.

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Liberal Music Fans Fooled by Grindcore Charity Deception

A massive amount of gullible liberal retards have fallen for a masterful charity deception running on Bandcamp via a “grindcore band” called Anal Trump. The band’s new album If you Want to Qualify for Health Insurance, Then Maybe You Should Have Gotten Raped? currently is the service’s top selling album despite the entire album being less than 60 seconds and offering virtually no music content. Priced at $5.00 (though users are able to pay more), the band claims 100% of “net proceeds” will be donated to the charity RAINN. This is in fact a cleverly worded deception as Bandcamp’s payout model takes 15% of all sales plus a processing fee (varying based on the amount), meaning that instead of donating $5.00 directly to the charity and getting nothing in return, users are donating $3.95 to the charity and $1.05 to Bandcamp and getting nothing in return.

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Vandalism, Bumbling Organization, and Antifa Venue Cut Short Caledonian Darkness II

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The organizers of the Caledonian Darkness black metal festival in Glasgow, Scotland were forced to cut short the second iteration festival early after an individual angry with the organizer’s inability to pay them vandalized the backstage area. Pig’s blood meant meant for Pseudogod, Sortilegia, and Ifrinn sets was used to paint six foot tall swastikas all over the white dressing room walls. Copying Dismember and Mayhem‘s shtick when you’re mediocre and not securing your own blood is a no no. Antifascists venue owners ended up canning Dead Congregation‘s and Svartidaudi’s sets, doing what they had threatened to do before the second day of the festival had even started

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New Adagio Album Available Whenever You Pay

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Article by Jon Faugustus.

Adagio, the French progressive metal band lead by Stephan Forte, has announced a fundraiser campaign to record and produce their fifth album to be titled Life. Throughout their history, the band has evolved from a mystical power metal band with contemplative overtones, to a decent but understated prog metal surpassing the likes of Symphony X, to a progressively more obvious selling out with pop songs covered with their dark progressivisms.

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