Streaming, Record Sales, and Illusion: The State of Music in 2019

 

If you were active on any social media platforms last month you likely saw the bands you’ve been following celebrate the number of Spotify streams they had in 2019. Just as Myspace plays and Facebook likes were once important metrics used in the industry to determine the success of an artist, the number of plays on a streaming service is now the new standard of how popularity and fan size will be evaluated. But along with these changes in music statistics we must also consider the lessons of the past in how such statistics have been deceitfully manipulated. For there is a dark side to the validity of music streams in 2019 and the very real power held by those who can successfully master their mysteries.
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SCAM ALERT: Via Nocturna Records

Despite the vitriolic hatred, nihilism, and misanthropy that death and black metal music is known for many artists/fans/labels have a developed a pretty blind system of trust and assumptions.  This code of honor stems from a general assumption of a “metal brotherhood” along with the idea that beatings or some other justice would be served in the event anyone acting out of line while also publicly listing their address online.  However the extreme metal scene has seen many legendary rip-off artists ranging from Peruvian fat-girl-fucker Christian Felipe Paucar Toledo, Nachmystium’s Blake Judd and his Battlekommand Records (now Ascension Monuments Media), and Blake’s drug addicted sidkick crony Jeff Wilson and his Disorder Recordings/Design.  To date, none of these men have been beaten within an inch of their life despite robbing and conning people in droves, and all of them continue to tour and sell music.  Therefore, ripping people off appears to carry no penalty, or at least within the boundaries of the metal world.

Many musicians on Bandcamp have reported they are receiving an emails from a “label” calling itself Via Nocturnal Records.  The label starts off with an obviously generic message saying they want to release the band’s music on CD.  After responding positively indicating interest, the label now sends the bait for a really outrageous and embarrassing metal scam.

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PISS ON TERRORIZER MAGAZINE’S GRAVE!

It has become apparent that the mentally ill mutant publisher of the failed Terrorizer Magazine pulled a classic Blake Judd-style heist on everyone stupid enough to subscribe to it in 2017.  Back in September, Terrorizer published a post on Facebooktarget=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external” indicating that “they’re having publishing problems” and promised to send everyone’s missing magazines that week.  In reality, subscribers were lucky if they got 1/4 of the year’s magazines delivered as most never received at least 3 of the issues and even got shafted on digital copies (!!!).  Absolutely no one has received the December issue (it was never published), yet everyone has been billed for the full year both last year AND THIS YEAR even though the last magazine was published in November!  I was just as shocked to hear about this as you were: I couldn’t believe people actually paid money to read Terrorizer last year!

So as of yesterday the lefty metal media has finally been reporting on the embarrassing death of Terrorizer Magazine, but so far they are taking a sympathetic tone.  But why is this, after the harshness they displayed on Blakey Judd for ripping off his fans in the exact same fashion?  The answer has been thus far carefully concealed by the liberal metal media outlets reporting on this:  Terrorizer’s publisher is trans.target=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external”
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Upcoming Black Sabbath Splatter Vinyl Boxed Set

Black Sabbath are releasing an upcoming splatter vinyl box set of their entire original first run of albums with Ozzy Osbourne performing vocals. Sound quality does not seem to be the name of the game for The Ten Year War as everyone with any experience listening to LPs on a big boy turntable setup knows that splatter vinyl almost always sounds terrible. Rather The Ten Year War is a collectible for obsessive-compulsive Sabbath maniacs and hipsters who will play and probably ruin the not very high-fidelity splatter discs on some cheap turntable from Amazon or Target.

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Entrails Preview “World Inferno”

Z-list Entombed ripoff Entrails posted the title track “World Inferno” from their upcoming World Inferno album coming out June 16th on Metal Blade Records. Nobody asked for another Entrails album. Entrails albums are shelf-turds meant to take up space from better, more worthy fans. Big metal labels release them to flood the market and prevent others from gaining a foothold in it. Entrails weren’t good enough to make in back in the early 90s and aren’t good enough to make it now. “World Entrails” is rock-structured death ‘n’ roll bull diarrhea just like later Entombed. I would rather eat a peanut butter and jelly sandwich while sipping a juice box through a straw like a six year old than listen to “World Beater” again.

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Vice Magazine’s Embarrassing French Black Metal Film

As part of their quest to ruin everything interesting and appealing about both metal and life, the gullible cronies of media pyramid scheme Vice Magazine have journeyed to the grim countrysides of the French black metal underground to film what is undoubtedly the most boring film in the history of music. While Vice markets this abomination as a “documentary” calling it such is actually a misleading statement as the film is little more than a collection of autistic ramblings without a single question or narrative statement. In any case, the eyesore is a bastardization of the region’s legacy as any shred of decency still possessed by the founding members of Mutiilation and Drakkar Productions have been urinated directly into the toilet as they hammed it up for the same forces that they claim to be rebelling against. Fortunately, the film’s lack of credible sources and unbelievably poor post-production prevents it from succeeding in the demystification of what was once one of the more intriguing regional black metal scenes.

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Liberal Music Fans Fooled by Grindcore Charity Deception

A massive amount of gullible liberal retards have fallen for a masterful charity deception running on Bandcamp via a “grindcore band” called Anal Trump. The band’s new album If you Want to Qualify for Health Insurance, Then Maybe You Should Have Gotten Raped? currently is the service’s top selling album despite the entire album being less than 60 seconds and offering virtually no music content. Priced at $5.00 (though users are able to pay more), the band claims 100% of “net proceeds” will be donated to the charity RAINN. This is in fact a cleverly worded deception as Bandcamp’s payout model takes 15% of all sales plus a processing fee (varying based on the amount), meaning that instead of donating $5.00 directly to the charity and getting nothing in return, users are donating $3.95 to the charity and $1.05 to Bandcamp and getting nothing in return.

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Vandalism, Bumbling Organization, and Antifa Venue Cut Short Caledonian Darkness II

caledonian-darkness-news

The organizers of the Caledonian Darkness black metal festival in Glasgow, Scotland were forced to cut short the second iteration festival early after an individual angry with the organizer’s inability to pay them vandalized the backstage area. Pig’s blood meant meant for Pseudogod, Sortilegia, and Ifrinn sets was used to paint six foot tall swastikas all over the white dressing room walls. Copying Dismember and Mayhem‘s shtick when you’re mediocre and not securing your own blood is a no no. Antifascists venue owners ended up canning Dead Congregation‘s and Svartidaudi’s sets, doing what they had threatened to do before the second day of the festival had even started

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New Adagio Album Available Whenever You Pay

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Article by Jon Faugustus.

Adagio, the French progressive metal band lead by Stephan Forte, has announced a fundraiser campaign to record and produce their fifth album to be titled Life. Throughout their history, the band has evolved from a mystical power metal band with contemplative overtones, to a decent but understated prog metal surpassing the likes of Symphony X, to a progressively more obvious selling out with pop songs covered with their dark progressivisms.

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