Gary Holt Prepared to Write Slayer Music

Current Slayer guitarist Gary Holt (Exodus), who replaced former primary songwriter Jeff Hanneman after Hanneman contracted necrotising fasciitis from a spider bite and drank himself to death, told Ultimate-Guitar that he is prepared to write new music for Slayer. This can only be an improvement as Kerry King wrote all of the godawful Repentless.

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Obituary & Exodus 2017 Tour

Obituary and Exodus are scheduled to tour the United States together later this year in the fall. The “Battle of the Bays: American Tour 2017” will have German speed metal band Dust Bolt opening along with the awful American metalcore band Power Trip. This probably will not be a great tour for underground metal fans but could be fun for beer metallers.

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Metal Is Not Rock

There remains a massive confusion in mainstream media, society, and culture regarding metal as a truly separate genre of music.  The mainstream media and leftist-controlled academia regard metal merely as a subgenre of rock music, rather than its own distinct genre. This is of course absurd. If metal isn’t its own entirely separate genre of music then jazz, folk, country, and blues are all rock ‘n’ roll too as they can all be played with the same basic set of modern instruments. Since this topic is well-documented in Death Metal Underground’s extensive Heavy Metal FAQ, in this article I will merely layout some basic musical differences between the genres and provide a few appropriate examples to hammer it down into the brains of the ignorant.

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Antichrist – Sinful Birth (2017)

Antichrist are yet another group of millennials who want to LARP 1987 thirty years later. Sinful Birth is their second campaign in the eighties and of course Antichrist come armored with denim, leather, spandex and high tops of haste +2. Antichrist are of course of great appeal to the funderground as they ape records everyone loved as teenagers, they have riffs beer metallers have heard a thousand times before and can recognize whilst blacked out, and the vocalist isn’t aggravatingly annoying.

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Malevolent Creation Seeks New Vocalist

Malevolent Creation are seeking a new vocalist on their Funbook page. The band has apparently fired Bret Hoffman. If you can do Malevolent Creation style vocals and are desperate to be in a known death metal band to validate your metal credentials as you have you low-self esteem, you should contact Phil Fasciana. Otherwise just contact him if you have a better growl than Dave Ingram and want to play shows despite lacking musicianship.

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Tankard Belch “Syrian Nightmare”

Tankard vomited up a new track from their upcoming album of beer metal, One Foot in the Grave, that’s coming out on June 2nd on Nuclear Blast Records. “Syrian Nightmare” sounds like a lamer version of the already lame modern day Sodom to appeal to social justice warriors and Sally Struthers types. What happened to making dropping payloads of napalm on third world peasant children for crispy, cancerous death sound like trends mosh core fun for people in tight, patched up denim tuxedos and high top sneakers to mosh to? “Feed the Syrian Children” is incredibly boring. War is a natural form of entropy. Why don’t yuppies want to live a healthy, all-natural life style?

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Evil Invaders Announce Feed Me Violence

Recently and rightfully deported Z-list speed metal rehashers Evil Invaders announced on their Funbook page that they have a new album of trends mosh core fun coming out. Feed Me Violence comes out September 29th on Napalm Records. Evil Invaders promised to sell out and have lame glam metal choruses like Testament. You know this is going to stink like a bathroom stall at a truck stop with a few holes drilled into the dividers.

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Death Yell Premiere “Soulless” From Upcoming Descent Into Hell

Chilean death metal band Death Yell premiered a new track off their upcoming debut album Descent Into Hell, which comes out in August on Hells Headbangers. “Soulless” is an unremarkable but inoffensive riff salad. I don’t remember anything about five minutes after listening to it twice other than it reminded me more of Teutonic speed metal than death metal. The album probably won’t be that great and Death Yell will probably end up opening for other Chilean bands such as Pentagram (Chile), Ripper or Unaussprechlichen Kulten.

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Thirty Years Under the Sign of the Black Mark

Bathory‘s Under the Sign of the Black Mark turned turned thirty years​ old last month. The album marked the start of Quorthon adding in the epic atmosphere of Manowar and Iron Maiden which would come to fruition on Blood Fire Death. Under the Sign of the Black Mark also happened to be one of the first black metal CDs I ever purchased, which I preceded to play non-stop for about a week until getting bored of it and going back to listening to Altars of Madness.

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Destruction North American 2017 Tour

Destruction are touring the US this year. The not as legendary as Sodom German speed metal band are bringing along z-list death metal bands Warbringer and Jungle Rot. Do people who love Sodom, Destructor, and Kreator love Jungle Rot? How many middle-aged men and party thrashers in Suicidal Tendencies hats also wear cargo shorts? Seeing this tour gives you the chance to find out. Will Schmier’s voice be as haggard as his appearance? Will Destruction’s drums be as fake as modern Kreator’s?

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