If there is anything impressive about the music Dream Theater have been releasing for the past decade or so, it is the fact that just when one thinks they have reached a new nadir in pointless asinine cringe, they somehow manage to sink down to even further depths of banality with no apparent end in sight.
Tags: 2019, annoying, asexuality, autism, bad music, christian rock, chugging, dream theater, fall from grace, james labrie, john myung, john petrucci, jordan rudess, kevin moore, mainstream metal, mallcore, memes, mike mangini, mike portnoy, nu-metal, obnoxious, pointless, pop music, prog metal, pseudo-progressive, reddit, redundant, retardation, self-plagiarism, stupid album cover, thanks reddit, time does not heal, wanking
It has been twenty years since Formulas Fatal to the Flesh first graced record store shelves, which still existed back then. That comeback album was the strongest statement from Morbid Angel after their initial surge of genre-defining creativity. It may have also been their high-water mark because everything since has shown a downward trajectory.
Tags: 2017, boring, cash grab, kingdoms disdained, morbid angel, rehash, review, Steve Tucker, trey azagthoth, wanking
Article by Lance Viggiano. Read his take on Transilvanian Hunger here.
I was essentially swindled into purchasing the gorgeous gatefold edition of this Averse Sefira LP which showcases some rather magnificent and captivating artwork as well as an above average execution of the band’s themes, concepts, and symbolism in visual form.
Tags: 2008, Advent Parallax, article, averse sefira, Black Metal, boring, counter-review, death metal, jeff tandy, lame metal, lyrics, modern metal, re-review, review, techdeaf, tek-deth, texas, vapid, wanking
Ihsahn is recording his upcoming solo album right now in Norway according to Blabbermouth. Furthermore Ihsahn believes that black metal is not a specific type of heavy metal music but rather a mind set and that the random progressive rock and jazzy instrumental masturbation Ihsahn performs now is still actually “black metal” despite not even being metal music to begin with, yet alone black metal.
Tags: AIDS, Bathory, christianity, diamanda galas, emperor, homosexuality, idiocy, ihsahn, metalcore, norway, progressive rock, recording, sell-out, selling out, upcoming album, wanking
Bill Steer, the guitarist of sell-out grindcore legends turned butt rock turkey Carcass, did an interview with hipster social justice warrior rock website Vice Noisey last week where he ranked Carcass’s albums in order of his favorites. Bill Steer admitted that Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious was pretentious death ‘n’ roll instrumental wank and that continuing in that style would not have provided any future for the band so they started writing heavy metal for arena rock fans on Heartwork as only about three hundred people at every big show Carcass played actually liked death metal at all. Bill Steer finally dropped all pretense of Carcass’s later material being traditional heavy metal and admitted it is actually written as arena rock in order to please the most people.
Tags: arena rock, beavis and butthead, Bill Steer, butt rock, carcass, death 'n' roll, Grindcore, Heartwork, pop metal, reek of putrefaction, sell-out, Speed Metal, stadium metal, stadium rock, Surgical Steel, vice magazine, wanking
Dream Theater are commonly mistaken to be a “progressive” metal band. Their fans love to brag about how “progressive” the band is as it makes them feel smarter than the typical rock and mainstream Maiden and Metallica metal fans. This is the same sort of intellectual smugness that pretentious urban leftists and the communist-infiltrated ivory tower have about the working class, those who do not shout whatever their currently favored political slogans in the street are like Mao’s Red Guards, or whoever openly dislikes the latest pretentious socialist realist film awarded a trophy by the liberal media shills to promote their Marxist agenda.
Tags: AOR, arena rock, dream theater, hard rock, pop music, progressive rock, pseudo-progressive, satyricon, wanking
Lantern take the Finnish black and death metal and move it back in time towards eighties speed metal to better appeal to a funderground hipster audience who never bothered to listen to Beherit or Demigod. The production of II: Morphosis is clean but slightly cavernous and vocals that sound like Per Boder of God Macabre help deceive inattentive millennials that Lantern are quality death metal and not Finnish Pantera.
Tags: 2017, dark descent, dark descent records, death metal, Finland, funderground, II: morphosis, lantern, review, Speed Metal, wanking
Cirith Gorgor try to apply the technical musicianship of the best death metal to black metal as Demonaz did on Immortal‘s heavily Morbid Angel influenced last gasp, Blizzard Beasts. However Cirith Gorgor’s songwriting on Bi Den Dode Hant cannot even hope to approach the level of the Norwegian greats and best death metal bands of the early nineties; Cirith Gorgor sound more like Hate Eternal or any other generic rock band recorded by Erik Rutan‘s Klingon forehead trying to be Mayhem as black metal is cool with the kiddies now due to them reading on Facebook that Varg stabbed Euronymous in the face over twenty years ago.
Tags: bi den dode hant, black 'n roll, cirith gorgor, death 'n' roll, EP, hammerheart records, progressive rock, review, techdeaf, the netherlands, wanking
Deeds of Flesh posted a new video log to Youtube documenting how they are recording the guitars for their upcoming album. If you suspected that techno metal was recording in the bedrooms of pudgy action figure collectors with guitars directly digitally reamped into Cubase and Protools, you were right! Deeds of Flesh of course don’t pay for a real studio! This shit’s digital! The same chair and computer used for jerking it to BangBros is used for recording brutal tekdeathgrind! Guitar wank and actual wank in the same place! Hopefully Deeds of Flesh sidelines their recent ‘core tendencies to improve on the promising Portals to Canaan.
Tags: Brutal Death Metal, death metal, deathgrind, deeds of flesh, techdeaf, techno, tek-deth, upcoming release, wanking, youtube
Article by Lance Viggiano.
Deathspell Omega return with another uninspired and uninspiring record entitled The Synarchy of Molten Bones. Their last record, Paracletus, was built on a foundation of Voivod-lite chords executed with the alt metal sensibilities of The Dillinger Escape Plan. In an effort to build ambience, additional guitar tracks would attempt to produce a microtonal effect without actual production of microtones; just more dissonance. These techniques were then deployed over pop-leaning melodies which become pronounced should one decide to hum the otherwise atonal morass.
Tags: 2016, deathspell omega, EP, france, metalcore, modern metal, post-hardcore, review, the synarchy of molten bones, wanking