Toilet ov Hell In Complete Terror, Spends A Whole Hour Crying

Famed loser and known Baroness lover Joe thrash n’kill (it/she/that) has spent two years crying over his pathetic attacks on DMU and the merciless retaliation that he has received. Joe recently made a podcast involving two “men” with the voices of prepubescent girls. Let us look at Joe’s claims and delve deeper into the psyche of a man so weak and insecure, he has to fabricate lies to cope with his useless existence.

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DMU Song Contest #3: King of the Serfs Edition Part 1

The third edition of the DMU song contest has finally returned and a staggering amount of contestants are ready to prove that they can escape the curse that confronts the modern musical landscape. The DMU team has united in reviewing this large field of hopefuls. Each writer will review a selection of songs and then nominate the two best songs from their song list to the finals where we shall form a panel to determine which of these bands can escape futile serfdom.

Onwards to war!

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Shub Niggurath – The Kinglike Celebration (Final Aeon on Earth)

Shub Niggurath is the third band in what can be called the Mexican big three of Death metal with the other two being The Chasm and Cenotaph. Though Shub Niggurath shared members with both bands and subsequently shared some similarities with both in terms of aesthetics they managed to forge their separate identity in regards to composition. Opting for a form of Death metal based on early Morbid Angel,Deicide and some influences from Emperor and Darkthrone. Shub Niggurath create pompous Death metal out of bare bone parts.

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Delving into the Depths of Richard Wagner’s Genius: The Tristan Chord

Richard Wagner’s character is famous all over the world, admired as well as decried as just behind Christ and Napoleon, it is the German composer who has given rise to the most impressive bibliography; in 1962, according to Jean Gallois, nearly forty-two thousand books, articles or documents were written about him and if one considers the tetralogy as his greatest masterpiece, it is “Tristan und Isolde” that will remain the most innovative harmonically. The chromaticism of the prelude pushed to the extreme marks a turning point in the history of music, arriving at a point of no return for tonal music. Is it the end of romanticism or the birth of the processes of modern music? The question has often been debated and the French composer Achille Claude Debussy, very influenced by Wagner and this opera before detaching himself from it and rejecting it, will write about Tristan:

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SMR – Mocking the Desperate Cries of Toiletovhell

Toiletovhell, a website created after a group of individuals were too soft for Metalsucks and their safe space politics and had to find somewhere even more pathetic to talk about metal. The aesthetics and writing style are even worse than Metalsucks and focus on self deprecating humour mixed with a lack of ability to actually understand anything they talk about. A herd like move towards inclusive and left wing politics has attracted a few other weak individuals on Twitter to constantly push around the same hilarious ideas in exchange for acceptance and “friendship” in the form of retweets. Naturally this wasn’t going to get them anymore exposure as the number of self proclaimed Black metal fans that love bands like “Dimmu Borgir” and “White Ward” yet are horrified or oblivious to the actual classics of the genre. Some time ago Joe and his cohorts had decided to attack DMU on two separate occasions that failed completely before resorting to small jabs on Twitter. After having gone through their website after their attack on DMU, I wasn’t interested in pursuing a bunch of forty year old men who had no actual musical education and a sufficient lack of political culture to be taken seriously. Yet it has come to my attention that Joe is so desperate for any kind of gossip that has called me out on his website for creating intricate sex scenarios revolving him and his wife. It’s time to flush Joe into the toilet once and for all.

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Destroyer 666 Shows Cancelled and Darkthrone Release New Song: “The Hardship of the Scots”

American drama has spilled over to Australia and New Zealand as Destroyer 666 have been scrapped from their Oceania tour with BÖLZER that are now headlining the tour. This is probably due to the hysteria surrounding the Fortnite inspired Christchurch shooter. Who through his actions has managed to shift public opinion towards certain values seen in the left and with media hysteria creating a parallel narrative to the anti-Trump narrative espoused by the histrionic rejects of America, the American tradition of attacking metal bands for no reason has been transported halfway across the world. Soundworks Touring who are responsible for the organization, have sidestepped this whole issue without announcing why KK Warslut and his team were kicked but chose to push all their efforts into promoting BÖLZER with this phrase.

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Brief Analysis: Beethoven Seventh Symphony: Second Movement

According to the great man himself, this was one of Beethoven’s greatest works and has rightly been recognized as being so. The second movement in particular was so popular that on its premiere, the orchestra were forced to encore it. To this day its popularity has not dwindled and the second movement has its own legacy outside of the symphony.

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Brief Analysis: Camille Saint-Saëns – “La Danse Macabre”

Camille Saint-Saëns one of the great Romantic composers was inspired by the old French legend “La Danse Macabre” which has been translated to the “Dance of Death”. This legend consists of various dead people from all walks of life but generally include a laborer,child and a king dancing at midnight on Halloween to the devil’s fiddle (which has been changed in the piece to a violin) before returning to their graves. This was commonly used as a memento mori in the middle ages to show the universal nature of death and that nothing on earth can deny any one of us the same fate. Here the composer took this allegory and built one of the greatest pieces in the history of music. The song is incredibly complex and would require an incredible amount of work to completely dissect, for the sake of clarity let us look at the opening passage before the composition spirals into insanity with the use of counterpoint and dramatic orchestration.

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In the Pursuit of Power: The Hessian Playlist

When training various elements can influence one’s psyche and it is essential to “program” one’s mind to be as productive as possible in the little that most Hessians can dedicate for training. Music can strengthen certain emotions and conjure up feelings of strength, fortitude and determination which are mandatory qualities to progress in any domain. At times the flow of an album doesn’t correlate with a training session and it can be interesting to create playlists of different artists. Here is a playlist that I personally use when working muscular endurance/cardio for upcoming competitions.

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