Dream Theater – Distance Over Time (2019)

If there is anything impressive about the music Dream Theater have been releasing for the past decade or so, it is the fact that just when one thinks they have reached a new nadir in pointless asinine cringe, they somehow manage to sink down to even further depths of banality with no apparent end in sight.

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Hate Mail (#10): Panzer Division Memminger

A German poseur with a stick up his ass calling himself Memminger Huette emailed us a review he had written of Marduk‘s comical Panzer Division Marduk. I at first assumed his review was a parody of how mainstream rock publications write about metal but that soon proved not to be the case in the brief email exchange that followed between him and me. His emails are the ones quoted after the jump.

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Warum ist Averse Sefira sehr Schwach?

Article by Raimund Weiner. Ffans und die Untermenschen may recognize me from the comments under such alter egos as Brainer Rascalslut und Strainer Weidensbutt; yes, the veil has come off, liebe Untermenschen.

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Iron Maiden Eddie Action Figures

Iron Maiden are having action figures made of their Eddie the Head mascot for all the man children and comic book guys who loved Iron Maiden as teenagers and want Maiden to be up on that one shelf with all of their Star Wars and WWF merchandise. “The Trooper” Eddie and Eddie from the Killers cover will be available at Super7’s San Francisco’s store from July 1st to 8th to coincide with Iron Maiden’s show in Oakland on July 5th.

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Manilla Road – To Kill a King out June 30th

Heavy metal influenced sperg rock band Manilla Road have another record of what are sure to be repetitive bouncy singalongs sung by someone on beta blockers coming out on June 30th on Golden Core Records. The die hard edition of To Kill a King selling out is going to give every fat guy with a denim vest a heart attack if they cannot put it on a shelf with their sealed action figures.

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Degtyarov Disses Death Metal Underground

degtyarov-condor

Ignyaz Degtyarov of “flowing black metal” and folk “metal” website and zine Black Ivory Tower slammed and parodied Death Metal Underground for Lance Viggiano’s negative Sadistic Metal Review of Condor’s recently released inferior third album, Sangreal. Apparently reviews of metal records evaluating the actual music behind the recording when compared to the works of past greats is autistic to Degtyarov, who only judges metal by how well it conforms to his Slavic nationalist Weltanschauung. Lance Viggiano speculating that a Black Ivory Tower contributor writing an ultimately boring upon repeated listening album due to chugging wine coolers and wearing The Rocky Horror Picture Show makeup like Sentence of Death era Destruction wounded what appears to be quite a fragile ego.

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Wintersun Finally Finishes Time II

jari wintersun

Article by Ludvig Boysen.

Wintersun has finally finished the second half of their 2012 album Time I. Jari Mäenpää, the composer and founder of the band, announced the record was finally finished and will be released “sooner or later.” Mäenpää crowdfunded an entire new home studio and sauna to complete the record. Wintersun released their self-titled debut album in 2004 which became a hit among lower testosterone fans of power and Gothenburg metal due to Wintersun’s use of death metal and black metal technique. In 2012, after years of delay, Wintersun released half of their second album, called Time I which was the first half of the upcoming Time II.

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