New Wave of British Heavy Metal legends Angel Witch are touring England this August, opening up for stoner rock band Electric Wizard.
Tags: Angel Witch, electric wizard, england, hard rock, Heavy Metal, news, NWOBHM, stoner doom, stoner rock, tour, tour dates, united kingdom, upcoming tours
Article by Linus Douglas.
As these Observer posers speed past 2017’s halfway point, they present a selection that is indeed a dumpster fire representative of the shit pool that their mainstream metal listening provides them with. Only those who need to be eradicated (rapists, communists, child molesters, serial killers, hipsters, etc.) genuinely think that stoner rock and boring, slow heavy rock bands are examples of heavy metal. Their piss-poor “culling” (badass, huh?) from the “metal cauldron” of mee-maw’s recipes was as follows:
Tags: 2017, AIDS, artificial brain, aseethe, brandon seabrook, cinema cinema, endon, GRID, hipster idiocy, john frum, kelly moran, luminous vault, metalcore, observer, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, sadistic metal reviews, screamo, stoner rock, techdeaf, tek-deth, toby dive
The hilarious leftist parody of metal will be celebrated in force this weekend as Maryland Deathfest completes its transformation into Coachilla-lite. While it’s been painfully obvious that all festival culture has gone fully mainstream as futureless millennials continue to spend money they don’t have on things they don’t need there are still many in the hipster sphere that can’t grasp the loss of counter culture to the mainstream. Maryland Deathfest continues this trend with praise from mainstream propaganda editorial Newsweek and lamentations from liberal snowflake blog Invisible Oranges occurring in the same week.
Tags: festivals, funderground, hipster idiocy, Invisible Oranges, mainstream, mainstream metal, maryland death fest, maryland deathfest, sjw metal, sjws, social justice warriors, stoner doom, stoner rock
Former and probably current crack smoker Bobby Liebling of long running stoner rock, pseudo-metal band Pentagram was arrested for apparently assaulting his elderly mother, causing him to be dropped from Pentagram’s upcoming European tour. Liebling famously was filmed smoking crack in his elderly parents’ basement in suburban Maryland for the Pentagram documentary Last Days Here. Liebling’s drug problems and abhorrent personal behavior have long sabotaged any chance Pentagram may have had at creative of commercial success.
Tags: bobby liebling, cocaine, crime, drugs, hard rock, heroin, hipster idiocy, pentagram, stoner, stoner rock, worthless scum
Earlier this year, independent music distribution platform Bandcamp claimed that many stoner rock bands are in fact doom metal. This is a common logical fallacy based around associating the pace and instrumental tone of the music with actual musical content. The stoner “doom” trend of bands that started in the late 90s and early 2000s and has continued non-stop right up until the present almost twenty years later was one of the earliest hipster attempts to assimilate heavy metal before the waves of speed, death, and now black metal aesthetics rehashed into pop rock for the safe space generation.
Tags: bandcamp, candlemass, doom, Doom Metal, hard rock, hipster bullshit, hipster idiocy, hipster invasion, idiots, pentagram, posers, poseurs, saint vitus, stoner, stoner doom, stoner rock
Trolling stoner rockers Black Pussy had their upcoming September 17th show in Calgary canceled by the Palomino Club after “feminist arts festival” Femme Wave canceled their upcoming events to be held there, believing the band’s troll name to be a “micro-aggression” toward The Vagina Monologues, riot girl punk, and sock monkeys made of used tampons. The venue decided that banning a band from performing would protect the “diversity” of the Calgary music scene in a typical display of “burning the village to save the village” logic no different from Robespierre’s “Committee of Public Safety”.
Tags: black pussy, canada, communists, hard rock, sjws, stoner rock
Article by David Rosales.
Perfection is in the balance and in the details! These works possess neither balance nor detail.
Tags: Abigail, boring, crypto-indie, glam metal, sadistic metal reviews, stoner rock, The Final Damnation
The Sadistic Metal Reviews are were we squeeze all the empty calories out of our guts into easily digestible packages for readers’ amusement. The leftovers are distributed to starving third world children to hasten their Malthusian death through infection with the type of drug-resistant bacteria that can only thrive in a Honey Bun.
Tags: Above Aurora, Behind the Shadows, Betrayal, Black Wisdom, blackened death metal, Grey Heaven Fall, Harakiri for the Sky, hipster bullshit, melodeaf, metalcore, modern metal, power metal, sadistic metal reviews, screamo, Slammin' Thru, stoner rock