Lords Of Chaos (2019)

As the Vice Media tag came on, there was no doubt that this movie was going to be terrible. There should be no doubt that this is just a take on the rock star trope while attempting to vulgarize the events that occurred during the Black metal movement in Norway. The movie fails at simplifying the story or even narrating the legendary acts that took place in such a short time. The sets and the music are the only reliable elements in a film that features idiotic directing, non-existent acting and fabrications so far fetched that no sane human would believe them. (more…)

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Desperate Earache records Signs Emo vocalist turned Street Rapper

As the money in modern metal continues to dry up despite various attempts to enter the mainstream through the hipster community. Useless label Earache records has resorted to signing Metalcore singer/guitarist and now Soundcloud rapper Alireza. This should come as no surprise since rap music has become the pop music of the 80s and the Earache fans at this point are pretty much the same people that download Iphone recorded rap. The reek of desperation and the constant barrage of race politics that have entered the commercial metal universe reaffirms the idea that Modern metal is heading towards its grave and it should be a fun ride as even more obvious cash-grabs will appear that will soon alienate the gullible hipster crowds.

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Zloslut – Sahar

Zloslut is a Serbian Black metal that initially consisted of sole founding member Agnarion who had produced all the records by himself but here on Sahar, Agnarion is joined by a full band that changes the dynamic of this album compared to previous works. All the previous rough edges have been rounded out from the production all the way to the riffs themselves. While this does create a certain amount of sterility, it also allows the band the freedom to explore and to develop their own style.

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SMR – Battle upon the Summit of the Mental Hospital

When all the bands that were terrible fifteen years ago still release music, there is no way that the desperation and attention whoring won’t come out in the music. Here are some of the worst songs to curse metal not only in these times but since the birth of the genre itself.

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Retrospective : Artillery – By Inheritance

Artillery are a Danish Speed metal band that have continued to sully their legacy with endless mediocrity that was so boring that even Metal Blade had to drop them in recent years. Despite all their recent shortcomings, Artillery were once an underground Speed metal that released two excellent albums before abandoning the underground in the pursuit of their magnum opus. Inspired in part by their journey to Tashkent in the former USSR which is now the capital of Uzbekistan, the band incorporated oriental sounds, a multitude of different riffs, haunting arpeggios and fist raising Heavy metal to create one of the finest releases in a genre which had already died at this stage.

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Malevolent Creation – The 13th Beast


Malevolent Creation return with an Immolation like attempt to gain new fans by playing simplified versions of their most famous works while simplifying their ideas as much as possible in order to attract as many newcomers as possible. Legendary vocalist Brett Hoffmann recently died after a long battle with colon cancer and though he had left more than 2 years ago, this is the band’s first record with new singer Lee Wollenschlaeger. Mediocrity is combined with constant blasting to make a purely forgettable record.

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Life Failure Fired from Third Rate Website

Communist, anarchist and champion of some of the worst metal to have ever been released, has finally been fired from idiotic “alternative” news outlet Vice. Kelly’s hilarious history has been well documented enough and now even her allies realize that she is a pathetic, neurotic excuse for a human being. “Grim Kim” is still delusional and believes that this is not due to her nonsensical pieces or her writing style that ressembles that of a foreigner coming to grips with the English language. Either way, this marks the end of the mainstream metal Antifa movement that has begun to attack its own heroes Behemoth in a desperate bid to keep itself going. This should be the last any of us hear of the demented crab claw lady. Good Riddance!!!

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Hecate Enthroned – Embrace of the Godless Aeon

Hecate Enthroned are known for being second fiddle to Cradle of Filth within the UK black metal scene and have followed their footsteps into third rate Black metal generally in the ridiculously named «Symphonic Black metal» style which is a complete lack of riffcraft being overcompensated by simple keyboard melodies. For those who are unfamiliar with this band, their 1997 release The Slaughter of Innocence, a Requiem for the Mighty was decent if at times inconsistant Black metal and is their summit. Their latest release sees an uninspired band attempt to reconcile cookie-cutter Blackened Death metal with the newer post rock elements that have invaded Black metal to create one of the worst excuses of Black metal to have ever existed.

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Riff Analysis: Master – “What Kind of God”


Master on their seminal record On the Seventh Day God Created… Master operated on the principle of taking one idea and pounding it into the listener’s brain as much as possible without droning on and maintaining some form of forward movement. Paul Speckmann’s riffs are simple and straightforward but there was always something there that pushed them above the hordes of bands making minimalistic Hardcore influenced Death metal. The first actual riff of the first song “What Kind of God” is a perfect example of what made Master deceptively unique at the riff level.

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Cult of the Horns – Chapter I – Domination

Cult of the Horns are a French one man band from Bordeaux with one full length released to this day. The band’s aesthetic is that of the typical NWN “goat-something” band but beyond the corpse paint and cheesy titles lies an honest combination of Death and Black metal which unique band member Mephisto makes an honest attempting at fusing both genres and though this record fails at times, there are a lot of interesting particularities, making this an above average listen.

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