Immortal Release Title Track of New Album “Northern Chaos Gods”

Cash grab alert!  After giving the classic board room “fuck you” to cornerstone musician Abbath, the corporate conglomerate of Demonaz and Horgh have secured the legal rights to the band name “Immortal” and are now positioned to promptly squeeze their fans to blindly buy music and merch advertised as that of a Norwegian black metal legend.  Although the pair have only played together on one album out of 12, they’re billing this as “the comeback of Immortal!” and have already gotten the infamously money-hungry Nuclear Blast records to set up the most overused rock n’ roll ponzi scheme.

Together, the pair have released a new song “Northern Chaos Gods,” the title/intro track of their first foray into commercialized rehash.  So how did the miraculous (fake?) recovery of Demonaz’s tendonitis work out?  Exactly how far into the waters of retro-rehash did the band wonder?  Have they evolved even the slightest as musicians or do they remain forever trapped in the 90’s? As trust fund life-dropouts living in the woods at the expense of their family might say:

“Let’s find out!”

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Morbid Angel – Kingdoms Disdained (2017)

It has been twenty years since Formulas Fatal to the Flesh first graced record store shelves, which still existed back then. That comeback album was the strongest statement from Morbid Angel after their initial surge of genre-defining creativity. It may have also been their high-water mark because everything since has shown a downward trajectory.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Grind Them All

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Whoredom Rife – Dommedagskvad (2017)


Review contributed by Jon Browning.

Whoredom Rife are exactly what is wrong with modern “underground” “metal”. All these posers do is take a bunch of riffs from records over twenty years old, chop them up, and randomly attach a few of them together to make… a track.

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Antichrist – Sinful Birth (2017)

Antichrist are yet another group of millennials who want to LARP 1987 thirty years later. Sinful Birth is their second campaign in the eighties and of course Antichrist come armored with denim, leather, spandex and high tops of haste +2. Antichrist are of course of great appeal to the funderground as they ape records everyone loved as teenagers, they have riffs beer metallers have heard a thousand times before and can recognize whilst blacked out, and the vocalist isn’t aggravatingly annoying.

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Evil Invaders Announce Feed Me Violence

Recently and rightfully deported Z-list speed metal rehashers Evil Invaders announced on their Funbook page that they have a new album of trends mosh core fun coming out. Feed Me Violence comes out September 29th on Napalm Records. Evil Invaders promised to sell out and have lame glam metal choruses like Testament. You know this is going to stink like a bathroom stall at a truck stop with a few holes drilled into the dividers.

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