Metal Molester 2017 So Far SMR


Article by Linus Douglas.

As these Observer posers speed past 2017’s halfway point, they present a selection that is indeed a dumpster fire representative of the shit pool that their mainstream metal listening provides them with. Only those who need to be eradicated (rapists, communists, child molesters, serial killers, hipsters, etc.) genuinely think that stoner rock and boring, slow heavy rock bands are examples of heavy metal. Their piss-poor “culling” (badass, huh?) from the “metal cauldron” of mee-maw’s recipes was as follows:

(more…)

7 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Incantation – “Messiah Nostrum” Music Video

Incantation released a music for the track “Messiah Nostrum” off their sure to be lame upcoming album Profane Nexus which comes out on Relapse Records later this year on a date I do not care enough about to Google or read the description of the Youtube video for. Neither should you as you absolutely should not pay money for this excuse to tour.

(more…)

8 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Aversion to Advent Parallax


Article by Lance Viggiano. Read his take on Transilvanian Hunger here.

I was essentially swindled into purchasing the gorgeous gatefold edition of this Averse Sefira LP which showcases some rather magnificent and captivating artwork as well as an above average execution of the band’s themes, concepts, and symbolism in visual form.

(more…)

31 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Sadistic Metal Reviews: Mellow Destruction of Inferior Semi-Technical Trivialities

These random, gimped releases are held in high regard by high-pitched “metal” critics and core pogo stickers. The Death Metal Underground staff takes it upon themselves to scorn and defile them in the name of all that is good in the metal genre.

(more…)

28 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Deeds of Flesh Posts “Studio” Video

Deeds of Flesh posted a new video log to Youtube documenting how they are recording the guitars for their upcoming album. If you suspected that techno metal was recording in the bedrooms of pudgy action figure collectors with guitars directly digitally reamped into Cubase and Protools, you were right! Deeds of Flesh of course don’t pay for a real studio! This shit’s digital! The same chair and computer used for jerking it to BangBros is used for recording brutal tekdeathgrind! Guitar wank and actual wank in the same place! Hopefully Deeds of Flesh sidelines their recent ‘core tendencies to improve on the promising Portals to Canaan.

4 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Sadistic Metal Reviews: Taste the Rainbow!

rainbow shit

Coming soon to a used CD bin near you!

(more…)

64 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Hate Mail (#4)

it_goes_up_to_eleven

Article by Lance Viggiano

“T” left a comment on my recent Sadistic Metal Review of Xoth’s Hostile Terraforming :

Well, clearly you have no idea what a GREAT musician consists of. And you have no idea who these musicians are, how much they put into their performances and recordings, and how passionate they are. Pretty outrageous review. I don’t think I’ve ever read something so angry about a group of talented musicians. I’m curious… have you ever seen them live? Have you ever met any person in Xoth? I think not. Or you would have never written this disgusting and embarrassing review. (As in you should be embarrassed for writing something so dispicable).

The commenter couldn’t mount a defense of Xoth’s artistic merits; nor did it bother to point out where the review’s criticism was actually inaccurate. It makes me think that not even the band’s defenders think the band has any point worth pointing out. As usual, the responses are simply about the character of both the reviewers and the bands. “Xoth is a good guy who likes his music, therefore his music is good!” Okay, great logic T.

14 Comments

Tags: , , , , ,