Brett Stevens

Children Of Doom by Eduardo Vitolo (2018)

by Brett Stevens on October 8, 2018

In the early 1990s, once it seemed that death metal had fired off its initial salvo and lost momentum by late 1992, the record labels immediately turned to what they had next in line to keep the kids occupied, doom metal. This followed years of gradual increase in interest based on the sound that Saint Vitus and Candlemass carried on from Black Sabbath, and tried to jump over recent hardcore- and prog-rock-influenced history to return metal to its heavy rock roots.

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Tags: albert witchfinder, brett stevens, carmelo orlando, diego banchero, Doom Metal, eduardo vitolo, fabio bellan, greg chandler, joe hasselvander, jordy middelbosch, justin st vincent, kobi farhi, marco melzi, marco serrato gallardo, mario di donato, martin popoff, massimo gasperini, mauro berchi, mauro tollini, Nihilism, niko skorpio, paul groundwell, paul kurh, randy holden, regen graves, thomas chaste, urlo

Configuring Exact Audio Copy (EAC) With The Fraunhofer Professional (l3codecp.acm) Codec

by Brett Stevens on October 2, 2018

Maybe you are one of those people who can hear enough audio quality to realize that the Fraunhofer Layer III MP3 Codec is far superior to plebeian alternatives like LAME. Maybe you are not an Apple user because your blood runs red and you do not want to join a cult based on twee interfaces and brightly-colored plastic objects. This means you are stranded in the world of practical people who want to use an MP3 player like Foobar2000 or the renewed WinAMP, a real codec like l3codecp.acm, and an audio extractor like Exact Audio Copy (EAC). Digital downloads are for wimps!

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Tags: eac, exact audio copy, fraunhofer, fraunhofer codec, fraunhofer mp3, fraunhofer mp3 codec, l3codecp.acm, mp3

SJWs Attack Pestilence For Mistranslated Comment

by Brett Stevens on July 28, 2018

As part of their continuing assault on metal and all other things masculine in order to humble them and make them into ideological servants of the Left, SJWs have been slinging verbal feces at Pestilence guitarist Patrick Mameli for using a common Dutch word in response to a jab online.

For some reason, Mameli has adopted Miami dreadlocks as his new style and, when a friend compared him to Milli Vanilli, the 1980s cheese-pop duo who were eventually busted for lip syncing their live concerts. Mameli responded with a simple statement: “Are you saying I’m black?”

Unfortunately, Facebook translated one word incorrectly. In Dutch, as in many European languages, “neger” means black person, just as “schwarze” means a dark person in German. Since Europe did not have the long history of civil rights warfare that the USA did, the connotation of certain similar words is not present, nor the stigma.

That did not stop the SJWs from rushing to arms and beginning to bleat for the removal of yet another quality band from the canon. However, in the end, SJWs have collectively never done anything one percent as impressive as Consuming Impulse, so it’s time for metal to shut them down.

16 Comments

Tags: dutch, metalgate, patrick mameli, pestilence, sjws

Depressive Suicidal Black Metal (DSBM) Should Just Kill Itself

by Brett Stevens on July 10, 2018

You know you live in an era of shitheads when people start conversations by saying “To be honest,” implying they are normally not honest.

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27 Comments

Tags: Black Metal, depressive suicidal black metal, dsbm, eugenics, retards

Woodlands Fine Cigars (The Woodlands, TX)

by Brett Stevens on July 5, 2018

Woodlands Fine Cigars [ map ]
582 Sawdust Rd, The Woodlands, TX 77380
281-296-0202, woodlandsfinecigars@yahoo.com

Everyone in Texas knows The Woodlands because it is the future of living in Texas: instead of a gated community, make a whole gated city just outside the sprawling disaster where people can enjoy normal suburban life without the pollution, crime, filth, disorder, noise, and existential tension of the city.
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Tags: cigars, houston, nicotiana tabacum, nicotine, pipe tobacco, smoking, texas, the woodlands, woodlands fine cigars

City Brewing Company – Frio Light (2018)

by Brett Stevens on June 30, 2018

A massive media blitz came about to introduce this beer to Texas. After all, it is bilingual, and it hopes to tap into the market for watery American adjunct beers that many races seem to enjoy because they are not thinking very clearly.

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2 Comments

Tags: beer, frio, light, yuck

Nat Sherman – Nat’s Mellow Taste (2018)

by Brett Stevens on June 30, 2018

The battle over cigarettes for the twenty-first century has heated up. During the latter half of the twentieth century, clever MBAs figured out that they could slash corners and raise margins, and so American cigarettes went from tasty to the same place that American beer went.

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Tags: american spirits, cigarettes, hail satan, nat sherman, nats, nicotine, tobacco

Taco Bell – Steak Nachos Box (2018)

by Brett Stevens on June 18, 2018

We live in a modern wasteland. Crafted as a disposable society, our civilization consists of business and government, with culture and organic activities nearly entirely excluded. As those who wander this outland of foreign and alien values and behaviors, staying on top of fast food is essential.

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20 Comments

Tags: junk food, steak nachos box, Taco Bell, wasteland

North Coast Brewing – Brother Thelonious (2018)

by Brett Stevens on June 13, 2018

Brother Thelonious
750ml, $7
North Coast Brewing

Upon opening, this beer smells a lot like 1980s Dos Equis, namely a rich dark beer with overtones of molasses. Once decanted and tasted, however, this brew reveals quite a different flavor: like a plum-scented wine mixed with a sweet dark beer, it has a fruity undertone to a rich taste.

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12 Comments

Tags: beer, brother thelonious, fruit, north coast

Anal Cunt Guitarist Josh Martin Dies In Freak Escalator Accident

by Brett Stevens on June 6, 2018

Anal Cunt guitarist Josh Martin, known for penning a number of outrageously offensive and theatrical songs, has passed away after falling from a mall escalator and striking his head.

Those who remember Anal Cunt for their enjoyable live shows, over-the-top lyrics, and grinding chaotic composition will find themselves familiar with Martin from his work in the composition and live performance of hits from the Anal Cunt catalogue.

He died doing what he enjoyed: “clowning around.” As news reports of his death tell us:

Josh Martin, a 45-year-old guitarist with the band Anal C**t, is said to have lost his balance, fallen backwards and hit his head on a table after losing his balance while riding the escalator.

Police told local reporters that he fell one storey from the cinema level to the food court below at Providence Place Mall shortly before 11pm on Monday evening.

A report described him as ‘clowning around and riding the rail of the escalator’ and fell off as he approached the downward part of the handrail.

Martin outlived his bandmate, vocalist Seth Putnam, by seven years after Putnam died in 2011 at age 43.

We choose to remember him through his irreverent sense of humor and his work, which ranged from musical comedy to fast, grinding sonic mayhem which introduced a new generation to grindcore. A brief career retrospective follows.