Toilet ov Hell In Complete Terror, Spends A Whole Hour Crying

Famed loser and known Baroness lover Joe thrash n’kill (it/she/that) has spent two years crying over his pathetic attacks on DMU and the merciless retaliation that he has received. Joe recently made a podcast involving two “men” with the voices of prepubescent girls. Let us look at Joe’s claims and delve deeper into the psyche of a man so weak and insecure, he has to fabricate lies to cope with his useless existence.

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SMR – Mocking the Desperate Cries of Toiletovhell

Toiletovhell, a website created after a group of individuals were too soft for Metalsucks and their safe space politics and had to find somewhere even more pathetic to talk about metal. The aesthetics and writing style are even worse than Metalsucks and focus on self deprecating humour mixed with a lack of ability to actually understand anything they talk about. A herd like move towards inclusive and left wing politics has attracted a few other weak individuals on Twitter to constantly push around the same hilarious ideas in exchange for acceptance and “friendship” in the form of retweets. Naturally this wasn’t going to get them anymore exposure as the number of self proclaimed Black metal fans that love bands like “Dimmu Borgir” and “White Ward” yet are horrified or oblivious to the actual classics of the genre. Some time ago Joe and his cohorts had decided to attack DMU on two separate occasions that failed completely before resorting to small jabs on Twitter. After having gone through their website after their attack on DMU, I wasn’t interested in pursuing a bunch of forty year old men who had no actual musical education and a sufficient lack of political culture to be taken seriously. Yet it has come to my attention that Joe is so desperate for any kind of gossip that has called me out on his website for creating intricate sex scenarios revolving him and his wife. It’s time to flush Joe into the toilet once and for all.

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Lords Of Chaos (2019)

As the Vice Media tag came on, there was no doubt that this movie was going to be terrible. There should be no doubt that this is just a take on the rock star trope while attempting to vulgarize the events that occurred during the Black metal movement in Norway. The movie fails at simplifying the story or even narrating the legendary acts that took place in such a short time. The sets and the music are the only reliable elements in a film that features idiotic directing, non-existent acting and fabrications so far fetched that no sane human would believe them. (more…)

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Desperate Earache records Signs Emo vocalist turned Street Rapper

As the money in modern metal continues to dry up despite various attempts to enter the mainstream through the hipster community. Useless label Earache records has resorted to signing Metalcore singer/guitarist and now Soundcloud rapper Alireza. This should come as no surprise since rap music has become the pop music of the 80s and the Earache fans at this point are pretty much the same people that download Iphone recorded rap. The reek of desperation and the constant barrage of race politics that have entered the commercial metal universe reaffirms the idea that Modern metal is heading towards its grave and it should be a fun ride as even more obvious cash-grabs will appear that will soon alienate the gullible hipster crowds.

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SJWs Threaten Nocturnus Over Keyboardist’s Facebook Posts

Some punk scenester social justice twat named Alyssa Lorenzon lashed out at Mike Browning after comments the keyboardist of his Nocturnus AD revival of Nocturnus made on Facebook documenting his poor sexual success with sexually abused and bipolar women.

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Metal-Archives’ Marxist Mania

Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Richard Sullivan.

Western civilization is currently gripped in a culture war unlike any that preceded this one. You may ask what makes it so different than the others, considering the West witnessed a similar one of its kind back in the late 1950s with the emergence of the New Left. Arguably, there’s never been a real difference in the left’s rhetoric. For as long as anyone cares to remember, white, heterosexual, “cisgender” men, who maintain the “capitalistic, racialized, cisnormative patriarchy” have always been at the center of their ideological attacks. The only thing that has changed has been their ability to have said rhetoric heard beyond the confines of university lecture halls. It was rare to encounter an enlightened™ human™ bombarding you with vitriol and threats of violence – because you failed to recognize the intersectionality between race™, gender™, and sexuality™ – outside a gender studies class. Of course, these things still occur, but with greater frequency, and to the point where a flash mob of overweight, hipster beta males twerking in tutus in a school’s atrium is viewed as them just “expressing themselves”, but, more boldly, as an act of defiance against conventional norms of masculinity.

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Dream Theater to play in Belo Horizonte

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Article by Jon Faugustus.

Dream Theater will be presenting themselves in Belo Horizonte, Brazil, at the Teatro Minascentro. This event adds to one more high-grade theater venue being defiled by the conformist pop this bands sells out to insecure young adults, and ex-Motley Crue fans going through middle life crisis.

Brazil, like Japan, is one of the go-to countries for any mainstream band seeking international recognition. The metal fandom there is as unoriginal and undescerning in their tastes as in the metal the artists produce. This is why it is not surprising to find 1/10000 bands worth listening to occasionally arising from such geographic locations.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews (07/04/16)

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Why write bad reviews at all? Good music is rare, and bad is everywhere, but if you do not explicitly identify the failings of bad, most people will find it appealing because it does not interrupt their steady stream of self-centered thoughts and is easier than seeking good. If you like good music and want more of it, you must bash as well as praise, as Machiavelli would tell you. And with that, the latest installment of the Sadistic Metal Reviews

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