Atmospheric Dendrophilia

Recently, I found a Youtube channel called “Atmospheric Black Metal Albums” devoted to what hipster urban lumberjacks have termed “atmospheric black metal”. We must call attention to the horrible Youtube, supposedly “black metal” sub-genre festering right under our noses for it is wholly different from the Eastern European flowing varietal.

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Metal Molester 2017 So Far SMR


Article by Linus Douglas.

As these Observer posers speed past 2017’s halfway point, they present a selection that is indeed a dumpster fire representative of the shit pool that their mainstream metal listening provides them with. Only those who need to be eradicated (rapists, communists, child molesters, serial killers, hipsters, etc.) genuinely think that stoner rock and boring, slow heavy rock bands are examples of heavy metal. Their piss-poor “culling” (badass, huh?) from the “metal cauldron” of mee-maw’s recipes was as follows:

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Desecrating Satan’s Hipster Country Club Resort


Reviews contributed by Norma Angelina Dagostino.

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Wolves in the Throne Room Release Random Riff Salad

Hipster screamos Wolves in the Throne Room released a new track and music video from their upcoming album Thrive Woven, which releases September 15th, 2017 on Artemisia Records.

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The Sad Pandemic of West Coast “Black Metal”

Today’s American black metal has found itself right within the parameters of Poe’s Law which, when applied to this abomination of a music scene, would sound something like this:

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Deconstructing USBM’s Deviation from the Golden Path

As America’s conservative renaissance thrives through its flourishing Alt Right movement, the time is ripe for a full fledged rebirth of its black metal identity.

With the genre having reached rock bottom in recent years due to pop punk and screamo influences, beta male journalism, communist ideologies, and a faux transcendentalist philosophy, we can begin to right the ship by exhuming and examining the cadaver of its formative age.

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