Metal fans are rejoicing after Chester Bennington, the frontman of godawful rap rock (“nu-metal”) band Linkin Fart, hanged himself yesterday.33 Comments
Tags: Abigor, aluk todolo, black 'n roll, crypto-indie, diapsiquir, drastus, elend, funeral mist, hipster bullshit, hipster invasion, hipster music, homoeroticism, homosexuality, ihsahn, kathaaria, malign, marquis de sade, metalcore, nihil nocturne, norma evangelium diaboli, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, rebirth of nefast, sadistic metal reviews, scenesters, screamo, shit
Hipster screamos Wolves in the Throne Room released a new track and music video from their upcoming album Thrive Woven, which releases September 15th, 2017 on Artemisia Records.39 Comments
Tags: artemisia records, black 'n roll, crap, crypto-indie, emo, hipster bullshit, music video, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, riff salad, screamo, upcoming album, upcoming release, wolves in the throne room
Tags: 2017, angelcide, bereft of light, black 'n roll, crypto-indie, curved blade, ein, folk metal, folk rock, gevurahel, karne, magoth, mavradoxa, metalcore, posers, reviews, sadistic metal reviews, sator malus, screamo, shit, stygian temple, symposium of torments
Today’s American black metal has found itself right within the parameters of Poe’s Law which, when applied to this abomination of a music scene, would sound something like this:27 Comments
Tags: black 'n roll, California, cancer, communists, crypto-indie, deafheaven, drugs, hard rock, hipster bullshit, hipster invasion, hipster music, idiots, Leviathan, metalcore, moribund, moribund records, pitchfork media, pop punk, post-hardcore, post-rock, profound lore, scenesters, screamo, shit, shoegaze, USBM, vice magazine, weakling, wolves in the throne room, xasthur
As America’s conservative renaissance thrives through its flourishing Alt Right movement, the time is ripe for a full fledged rebirth of its black metal identity.
With the genre having reached rock bottom in recent years due to pop punk and screamo influences, beta male journalism, communist ideologies, and a faux transcendentalist philosophy, we can begin to right the ship by exhuming and examining the cadaver of its formative age.56 Comments
Tags: abazagorath, American black metal, black 'n roll, Black Metal, crypto-indie, deafheaven, death metal, demoncy, depressive suicidal black metal, elegy records, emo, hipster invasion, judas iscariot, liturgy, moribund records, national socialist black metal, Nihilism, nsbm, pop punk, profanatica, scenesters, screamo, thrash metal, USBM, War Metal
Will every single one of these bands eventually get AIDS? Let’s find out!4 Comments
Tags: AIDS, aksaya, Ambient, black 'n roll, Black Metal, comatose, conceived by hate, death 'n' roll, death metal, drone, emo, haxxan, hereza, inexorable, insanity cult, Lorn, morbid messiah, sadistic metal reviews, screamo, todesstoss, tome of the unreplenished, ur
The Sadistic Metal Reviews are were we squeeze all the empty calories out of our guts into easily digestible packages for readers’ amusement. The leftovers are distributed to starving third world children to hasten their Malthusian death through infection with the type of drug-resistant bacteria that can only thrive in a Honey Bun.10 Comments
Tags: Above Aurora, Behind the Shadows, Betrayal, Black Wisdom, blackened death metal, Grey Heaven Fall, Harakiri for the Sky, hipster bullshit, melodeaf, metalcore, modern metal, power metal, sadistic metal reviews, screamo, Slammin' Thru, stoner rock
On a less rigorous, and slightly looser site, my thoughts on New Bermuda could be expressed as something along the lines of “whatever”. The music here has been performed before by a cavalcade of metal-themed indie acts, each more individual and revolutionary than the last, yet stunningly conformist for their efforts. Deafheaven enjoys rather more media attention at the moment, even sometimes drawing our attention for their little escapades, but they’re pretty much cut from the same fabric – a few hints of loud guitars and blast beats to liven up boring sugary pop stretched far beyond the limits of its songwriting.
The stylistic deception is pretty shallow, to be honest. I found it mildly amusing that the album began with a few minutes of more overtly black metal flavored material, which was then abruptly cast off in favor of the basic rock riffing and reverb textures that Deafheaven seem to so particularly enjoy. It returns every now in then in case you forget you’re supposed to be listening to the future of black metal, but I can confidently say New Bermuda relies more on the band’s rudimentary modality (major-minor ad infinitum) than their rudimentary dynamics to occasionally wake up a sleepy listener when the soothing, inoffensive guitar strumming has lulled them into a dreamless slumber. The drumming in these sections gradually devolves into basic modern rock downbeats and timekeeping, as if to represent your transition towards a drowsy (indie) state of mind. That probably wasn’t the intent, but the idea that it could’ve been is dangerously tempting.
Now, I’m not the kind of person who tries to fall asleep to music, but were I to treat this as a collection of lullabies, it would still be fairly underwhelming. That it has loud sections at all is counterproductive for insomniacs, but even those are rather predictable in how they play out. The straight ahead black metal sections consistently move sluggishly under the blastbeats, with a vocalist who has learned but one type of shriek and a few basic vocal rhythms. Given how Deafheaven is marketed, that these sections sound like an afterthought is problematic. Maybe the album would be better if it was divested of the clearly unwanted black metal, but then you’d be left with just another unwashed (but charmingly patchouli and spice scented) post-rock/emo/indie-pop album essentially indistinguishable from all the others and guaranteed to gather dust after something newer and more exciting comes out.
I slept well last night. What about you?6 Comments
Concocting the perfect metal-beginner waylayer album, Behold! The Monolith come back with an album that brings together disparate and formulaic applications of different metal and hard rock styles in a way that emphasizes changing moods and contrasting sections that should feel exciting because they are new to the listener in each moment. This approach was first popularized by Åkerfeldt Pink Frothy AIDS and has since been a bomb among both hipsters and distracted listeners that only look for a dose of “heaviness” in metal. For the latter all that suffices is a string of heavy-sounding and catchy moments that are capable of inducing head-banging. For the first, the hipsters, it is important that the song superficially parts away from the norm, thus differentiating itself as an insult to any sort of tradition, an affront to any implication of real meaning embedded in the song, a statement that meaning is only what they want it to be.
This year’s proposal, Architects of the Void, is mental cancer incarnate, delusional pretension combined with self-serving posturing ooze through each decision about the content and direction of the songs. We hear a doom metal riff opening, then we suddenly find ourselves in a full on Stoner groove only to be followed by a speed metal attack with tremolo-picking, a break for an acoustic fill that does not last more than 15 seconds only to by hit by uneventual melodic heavy metal guitar lines, only to come back by Stoner riff patterns propelling the Korn-like vocals. Not only is the juxtaposition of styles comical but besides a little attention to smoothness in tempo and dynamics, there is evidence anywhere that the band had any intention whatsoever of giving these songs a central theme. Any riff in any song could be easily interchangeable with almost any other riff from any other song. It would make little difference, if any.
The poser-like mental weakness displayed by Behold! The Monolith Architects of the Void goes beyond the mere mental weakness that drives them into mediocrity and complacency. With the attitude of post-rock/metal and the technical approach of hard rock, this band represents the monster that metal’s assimilation into the mainstream represents. A product suitable for the pleasure of subpar intelligence in music, it is not only recommended that this album is avoided but its copies are actively searched for and destroyed. The possibility that this project takes a place in name besides truly artful underground projects is an insult to them and a building-up of distracting fodder. Of course, the truly discerning out there will know to avoid this screamo-spirited music full of SJW teenage rage, but there are those out there who are still digging their way through metal, those who are still learning. For the sake of metal itself, this album must make it into the lists of worst insults to the genre.
PS. The band is from Los Angeles, California. Should this have been a clue?5 Comments