Sadistic Metal Review: Blliigghhtted – Into the Cunt of the Witch (2016)

into the cunt of the witch

Article by Lance Viggiano.

Into the Cunt of the Witch is grainy fatalistic pap embellished with agonizing atonal voids where music should exist. When the haze clears just enough for a melody to become audible it possesses a character of passivity and reception but is always intensely grating in its pointlessness. The tired corpse of speed metal and heavy metal drags lethargically through chromatic sections that form the locus of this work. Lightly struck syncopated rhythms are relied too heavily upon and flatten into a sterile ticking that results in a pure time keeping effect not unlike a distraught prisoner tallying his cell wall; tracking his sentence until his song merely ends – a fair metaphor for the experience of this record. Individual songs are parts of four whole works and do not stand well on their own; ending abruptly without proper conclusions before jumping into the next section in a greater cycle. Vocals operate in two essential modes: an apathetic crooning within artificial caverns as well as a faux-distraught occult street preacher reminiscent of contemporary orthodox/occult black metal.

(more…)

30 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

Sadistic Metal Review: Sovereign – Nailing Shut the Sacrosanct Orifice (2014)

sovereign nailing shut the sacrosanct orifice

Article by David Rosales.

More Ghost Scooby-Doo music mixed with random Deathspell Omega retardation than cohesive and nuanced terror, Sovereign Nailing Shut the Sacrosanct Orifice presents yet another example of the many failures of modern black metal: pretentious in lyrical orientation, vacuous in concrete musical content, mediocre in the putting together of structures that form an intelligible narrative. The lyrics themselves, in any case, will appear cursorily written, superficial, and sensationalist for anyone that has delved semi-seriously into the subjects.

(more…)

1 Comment

Tags: , , , , , , ,

Sadistic Metal Reviews: Pushing It All Out

unicorn poop

The Sadistic Metal Reviews are were we squeeze all the empty calories out of our guts into easily digestible packages for readers’ amusement. The leftovers are distributed to starving third world children to hasten their Malthusian death through infection with the type of drug-resistant bacteria that can only thrive in a Honey Bun.

(more…)

10 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

#Metalgate: Shawn Wright Threatens to Extort Death Metal Underground to Fund Bestial Evil National Tour

Shawn Wright extortion threat

Baltimore social justice warrior Shawn Wright threatened to extort Death Metal Underground through a defamation lawsuit to fund his crappy crustcore band Bestial Evil USA‘s national tour in the comments section of our recent news article covering his latest whining.

(more…)

25 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , ,

#Metalgate: Vice Backed Indie Bands Drop Out of Pentagram Tour as Publicity Stunt

bobby liebling

Two indie female-fronted bands (Wax Idols and King Woman) have dropped off pseudo-metal, psychedelic rock band Pentagram’s ongoing tour, breaking their separate agreements with promoters. The women in both bands were surprised when ex-junkie Pentagram frontman Bobby Liebling hit on them. The news of this passive-aggressive move being broken by Vice, both indie bands being backed by Vice, and subsequently embarking on a Vice-funded tour reeks of self-aggrandizing unprofessionalism.

(more…)

16 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , ,

Defining Metal

Slayer hell awaits

Article by Lance Viggiano inspired by International Day of Slayer.

A candidate for the best work within a genre of music should capture every manifestation as best as it can and be able to answer the question: what is X? One might make the argument that the best album must capture the genre at its summit; still, that is a far more difficult essence to capture as in the case of metal, both black and death metal scaled adjacent but different peaks and therefore offer their own unique views of the same musical landscape.

(more…)

13 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

Sadistic Metal Review: Chalice – Chalice (2014)

chalice ep

Article by Corey M.

Chalice is a real shit show. From a purely musical perspective, the self-titled EP Chalice is transparent hard rock with some metal-ish riffing that never gets quite as aggressive as Deep Purple. Now indeed, aggression is not the only or even most crucial element that goes into making good rock or metal, but Chalice fall fa(aaaaaaaa)r short in every other facet of songwriting and performance.

(more…)

6 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , ,

The Misnomer of “Melodic” Metal

carcass friends

“Melodic death metal” is meaningless. What is popularly called “melodic” death or black metal can be roughly divided into the three different types of music sketched out by Ludvig Boysen in his “The Three Types of Melodic Death Metal” article for Death Metal Underground. While Ludvig’s three categories are essentially correct, refining and broadening them allows formal classification of all “melodic” death and black metal. Note that Death Metal Underground’s extensive Heavy Metal FAQ covers the topic of genre in great depth but a brief rundown for the ignorant and lazy is in order.

(more…)

42 Comments

Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Classic reviews:
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z