Minneapolis Destroyed In Nuclear Explosion After “White Lives Matter” Banner Found

Defense Secretary Mark Esper invoked the Seventh Trumpet protocol by which United States government figures communicate directly with the population over radio, television, and internet channels simultaneously to announce that, after the discovery of a “White Lives Matter” banner in Minneapolis, the city was erased by a nuclear explosion.

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Keep Black Metal Evil

We find ourselves at one of those terrifying and exciting points in history, like standing on the narrow point of a mountain ledge and feeling the cold northern breeze. The old system has failed; we are going to change to something new, although most are still kicking their feet in a tantrum of protest at the threat of change. This opens up new spaces and possibilities.

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Phil Anselmo’s Newest Solo Endevour Bombs

On a recent episode of “The Classic Metal Show” burnt out Pantera vocalist and famed roman-saluter Phil Anselmo admitted that his newest album Choosing Mental Illness as a Virtue was “only going to appeal to X amount of people, and that’s going to be a small amount of people.”  By X amount, Phil was likely referring to the roman numeral for the number 10 as that is about the number of fans his band of soon-to-be deported illegal immigrants has.  The album currently has a 46% score on Metal-Archives (already a low medium of standards) and virtually no one has professed a fondness for the album outside of the journalists who were paid to.

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“It’s Okay to be White” – The Metal Song

Political YouTuber Finntronaut has uploaded a silly new metal song and video themed after the “It’s Okay to be White” prank that violently triggered thousands of snowflake liberals earlier this season.  While the song is not exactly good, it’s a pretty funny take on how ridiculous this culture war has gotten lately here in the U.S.A.  Thematically the video takes no political position- it’s just a bunch of goofy satirical visualizations overdramatizing the racial/cultural tensions of this age.

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#Metalgate: Nyogthaeblisz Excluded From Maryland Show For “Racism”

Washington, DC area crust punk and metalcore scenesters decided that anti-religious Texan black metal band Nyogthaeblisz were racist and got their show at Gaithersburg, Maryland tattoo parlor Raw Ink canceled according to the Washington City Paper and moved to a Philadelphia bar hours away.

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Exposing the Hypocrisy of Liberal Metal Journalism


In an age where the culture war has reached all corners of American life it is essential to understand the immense significance of the extreme metal frontier. As a liberal movement on the brink of extinction adapts a full blown communist agenda and wages totalitarian warfare against all beneficiaries of natural selection and individual freedom it is mandatory for the iron willed men and women of metal to defend the most liberated of all musical genres. By defeating these dystopian LARPers on the battlefield of metal culture we will accelerate their complete evisceration and ultimately emancipate the underground metal genre from it’s stagnant state. Therefore we must understand the enemy to swiftly and decisively destroy it.

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Southern Poverty Law Center Says Milk Is Racist

The Southern Poverty Law Center’s Hatewatch feed and Mic Media claim milk is “a new, creamy symbol of white racial purity in Donald Trump’s America”. Yes as a white man with orange skin is president, cow’s milk is racist even though European, African, Middle Eastern, and Indian populations are all lactose tolerant. Cheese and yogurt sauce anyone?

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University of London Student Calls for Removal of White Philosophers From Curriculum

Ali Habib, co-president of the Student Union for Democracy and Education at the School of Oriental and African Studies of the University of London, has called for the removal of European philosophers from the curriculum. He and his student union have demanded the University drop Plato, Descartes, Kant, and Russel simply as they were white in order to “decolonize the University” and “confront the white institution.” The multicultural, anti-European students wish to only study philosophy from a “critical standpoint” so that they may sieve out all European thinking through “acknowledging the colonial context in which so-called ‘Enlightenment’ philosophers wrote within.” Ali Habib (pictured above), the Yemenite student officer responsible for the statement, is a known supporter of Marxist anti-colonial philosopher Frantz Fanon who died of leukemia while fighting for the Algerian National Liberation Front

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#Metalgate: Kim Kelly Endorses White Genocide

Crustfund social justice warrior, hypocrite, alleged groupie, liar, and Vice columnist Kim Kelly openly supported white genocide on Twitter late last month. She gave her “total support” to Drexel university associate professor George Ciccariello-Maher who publicly wished for a white genocide as a gift last Christmas on Twitter and slammed his critics as “white supremacists”. He followed up his initial lust for ethnic cleansing of his own race with another tweet stating:

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