Real Sex with Social Justice Warriors Short Story Contest

Death Metal Underground has not run a contest in quite some time; since we found our slogan: “Sodomize the Weak” from Blood‘s O Agios Pethane. Our staff collectively feels it is time for another round. Social justice warriors, antifascists, and communists have been annoying the heavy metal world lately. We have decided to counter back with a short story contest.

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Metal Blast Points Out Ridiculousness of David Anthony and The AV Club

Youtube vlogger Metal Blast pointed out the ridiculous of David Anthony’s preposterous claim that “Metal Has Unaddressed Nazi Problem” on hipster socialist realism media website The A.V. Club. Metal Blast notes that while Craig Pillard of Disma made anti-Semitic statements in the past himself, David Anthony preposterous slamming Disma and every other metal band he holds politically incorrect to the socialist creed as Nazis is just as preposterous as Tipper Gore’s Parents Music Resource Center in the 80s and Jack Thompson claiming that the violence of Doom and Grand Theft Auto in the 90s led to school shootings.

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Google Endorses Diversity, Multiculturalism, and Antisemitism

Google posted the above image to their homepage as the winner of their annual Doodle 4 Google contest. The picture was drawn by a high-school student who wanted to show that diversity and multiculturalism will let everyone live in peace together. Google endorses such preposterous delusions by selecting such social realism as the winner of their annual contest. Google wants the lazy, the crazy, and the insolent are allowed to loot the first world as they hope, like other multinational corporations that sell cheap crap (text ads), that more potential customers will equal more potential profits.

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Kim Kelly Whines; Facebook Censors Fan Page

Facebook deleted the  hilarious “Kim Kelly’s Hand” fan page that a few Death Metal Underground readers made in awe of her claw hand and how she is able to type ever-flowing streams of diarrhea despite such a hideous deformity. Facebook accused those few hilarious metal heads of bullying. Apparently jabs at a public figure are not allowed on Facebook’s socialist worker’s playplace. Kim Kelly is the crustfund communist Vice Noisey fake journalist, serial liar, alleged groupie, and supposedly hypocritical racist trying to ruin the careers of metal bands she finds politically objectionable. Kelly called Dismember and Cannibal Corpse sexist and constantly shills for crappy crossover thrash, noise rock, hipster whine rock, and female-fronted deathcore bands.

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A.V. Club Editor David Anthony Posts Metal Hit List

Social justice warrior hipster scumbag David Anthony of communist multimedia shill website The A.V. Club (owned by The Onion) thinks that heavy metal has a Nazi problem. David Anthony is a bitchy, neurotic pinko throwing a fit that certain musicians who want to kill everyone as all humans are damn, dirty apes are not particularly fond of the concept of arbitrarily protected classes of people. The AV Club think that mildly successful and average death metal band Disma should be publicly hanged, drawn, and quartered in front of all of the proletariat as former Incantation frontman Craig Pillard released a National Socialist themed techno album over a decade ago. Nobody is spared from David Anthony’s hit list. Joining Pillard in the AV Club’s metal pogrom are Inquisition, AbsurdLemmy from Motorhead, Slayer (especially Tom Araya), Varg Vikernes, Deafheaven, Antichrist Kramer, Lord Mantis, and No Colours Records. Anthony also cited two quotes from Mayhem drummer Hellhammer‘s interview in Until the Light Takes Us as of course closet case David Anthony does not listen to black metal and only watched the movie. The only relatively unknown dirt he dug up was Lord Mantis fucking a transvestite but that was from a Vice interview he probably bookmarked due to the graphic description of a casual homosexual encounter.

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Tomas Skogsberg Goes Red

Tomas Skogsberg, the producer of most of the early nineties Swedish death metal classics from Entombed and Dismember at Sunlight Studio, was interviewed by the Swedish Communist Party’s Proletaren news site a couple of years ago. Skogsberg of course speaks  about his collectivist ideals and why he eventually became a card-carrying Communist. He mentions that the Boss HM-2 pedal is only good for chainsaw guitar death metal and is otherwise bullshit. In addition he talks of his love of The Beatles and unpristine, properly dirty productions, and how Sunlight only bought digital audio workstation software in 1995 that he still uses. This could explain why various Swedish bands have noted over the years that Skogsberg let Sunlight Studio fall into disrepair in the mid 90s. Overall, Skogsberg says he is proud of the “rattly and raspy” records he engineered over the course of his career with his favorite production have been Entombed‘s Wolverine Blues, death ‘n’ roll sellout from 1993.

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Change.org Petition To Fire Communist Yvette Felarca

A rightfully disgusted Berkeley, Califorinia resident has created a Change.org petition to get Communist terrorist organizer Yvette Felarca fired from her job as a middle school humanities teacher in the Berkeley public school district. The resident was horrified at Felarca’s behavior in firebombing the University of California at Berkeley, physically attacking protesters with contrary political opinions to her own, and threatening acts of terrorism against the nightclubs and venues booking metal bands she finds politically incorrect such as Disma and Marduk.

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Oakland Police Ally with Antifa Terrorists to Stop Marduk Show

The Oakland Police Department allied with antifascist and communist terrorists to get the Oakland Metro Operahouse to cancel Marduk‘s booked show with Incantation there today on February 18th according to a post on the venue’s Facebook page. Antifascists and communists had previously vowed to attack Marduk’s planned gigs in Oakland and Austin.

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Antifascist and Communist Terrorists Threaten Marduk Tour

Antifascist and Communists have vowed to commit terrorists acts in protest of Swedish war metal (formerly black metal) band Marduk touring the US for the first time in years. The idiotic communist manlets are accusing Marduk of being a “crypto-fascist” band. They will not stop harassing the band, their fans, and concertgoers until all of them are sent to gulags (where work will set them free) or have hollow-point bullets shot into the back of their skulls in the bowels of police stations.

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