Sadistic Metal Reviews 11-26-2016

shit-snake

We get this poop in the mail. We don’t trash it unlike our readership, we use it for target practice with our AR-15s!

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: 10-23-2016

melting-cdr

Humans and metal bands are self-replenishing resources. There are always more to burn!

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Sadistic Metal Reviews 10-20-2016

candy-corn-teeth

Death Metal Underground receives a constant stream of inferior promotional materials like a child is given unwanted Apples, granola bars, and candy corn on Halloween. We toss them in the trash too.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Iron Coneheads

coneheads-tainted-love

Death Metal Underground constantly receives new batches of rock music masquerading as “blackened death metal” for the scenester, “buy everything” market. We microwave these promotional materials inside the homes of people we hate.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews 9/24/2016

shit_burning

Some sorry schmuck has to shovel it into a hole and set it on fire.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews — September 1, 2016

fecal_butterfly

Humans are by nature delusional. They overestimate their importance and demand that reality fit their simple expectations. And yet, they are very good at mastering known skills, so they are highly proficient, but void of purpose. This hollowness is the left side of the metal Bell Curve, and to separate it from the good stuff, we have Sadistic Metal Reviews!

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