Bölzer Are Neither Racists Nor Nazis

Okoi Jones, guitarist and vocalist of Swiss black ‘n’ roll alternative rock band Bolzer, declared on the band’s Facebook page that he and Bolzer are in no way racists, sexists, fascists, or Nazis in response to Paul Resnikoff’s apparently libelous virtue signaling:

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#Metalgate: Spotify Proscribes Politically Incorrect Metal Bands

Social justice warrior Paul Resnikoff of Digital Music News whined that some metal bands on Spotify were on a Southern Poverty Law Center list of “hateful” bands on Itunes in hope of virtue “signal boosting” his pathetic music industry blog.

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Bolzer – Hero Diehard Colored Vinyl

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Hipster alternative rock band Bolzer announced the various editions that their godawful debut album Hero will be available in on their Facebook page. The diehard LP version will exclusively be available in colored vinyl. Bolzer call the color “semen/copper burst“. Inspired by what ends up in Bolzer’s toilet when they forget to use an enema, Hero shares the same color as the mushy results of vigorous, unprotected anal sex.

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Bolzer Blow Up

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Hipster alternative rock band Bolzer blew up at Death Metal Underground on their Funbook page for telling the world what the first preview track, “I AM III”, from their upcoming album Hero actually was: vocal harmony focused alternative rock with generic riffing in the middle for no reason other than to pretend that their random music is metal and to “connect” two unrelated rock parts. Our staff’s commentary is after the jump.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Iron Coneheads

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Death Metal Underground constantly receives new batches of rock music masquerading as “blackened death metal” for the scenester, “buy everything” market. We microwave these promotional materials inside the homes of people we hate.

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Bölzer Preview Hipster Christmas Carol

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Black/death ‘n’ roll band Bolzer premiered a track that sounds like the pretentious hipster occult version of the Beach Boys from their upcoming debut LP, Hero.  Their prior EPs had a few creative riffs in boring, meandering , and more boring alt rock songs. Rather than increasing the amount of actually meaningful musical content or improving their songwriting skills, Bolzer have tailored themselves to target the hipsters consuming the idiot safe-space pseudo-metal promulgated by Profound Lore, Vice, and MetalSucks. Will the bearded, flannel cutoff short short wearers be grossly offended by the runes tattooed onto Bolzer’s beer bellies?

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