Bardo Methodology #1

Bardo Methodology started off as a website that published various interviews detailing philosophy and the occult, and were known for really diving in the heart of the matter. The printed formats contain extended versions of the interviews found online and hold no punches as a wide range of artists and writers are interviewed and encouraged to discuss their true opinions on various subjects without censorship or the routing associated with mundane questions that seem to plague metal interviews. Bardo Methodology is an insanely ambitious project that triumphantly succeeds but not without a small share of problems

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Destroyer 666 Shows Cancelled and Darkthrone Release New Song: “The Hardship of the Scots”

American drama has spilled over to Australia and New Zealand as Destroyer 666 have been scrapped from their Oceania tour with BÖLZER that are now headlining the tour. This is probably due to the hysteria surrounding the Fortnite inspired Christchurch shooter. Who through his actions has managed to shift public opinion towards certain values seen in the left and with media hysteria creating a parallel narrative to the anti-Trump narrative espoused by the histrionic rejects of America, the American tradition of attacking metal bands for no reason has been transported halfway across the world. Soundworks Touring who are responsible for the organization, have sidestepped this whole issue without announcing why KK Warslut and his team were kicked but chose to push all their efforts into promoting BÖLZER with this phrase.

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Bölzer Are Neither Racists Nor Nazis

Okoi Jones, guitarist and vocalist of Swiss black ‘n’ roll alternative rock band Bolzer, declared on the band’s Facebook page that he and Bolzer are in no way racists, sexists, fascists, or Nazis in response to Paul Resnikoff’s apparently libelous virtue signaling:

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#Metalgate: Spotify Proscribes Politically Incorrect Metal Bands

Social justice warrior Paul Resnikoff of Digital Music News whined that some metal bands on Spotify were on a Southern Poverty Law Center list of “hateful” bands on Itunes in hope of virtue “signal boosting” his pathetic music industry blog.

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Bolzer – Hero Diehard Colored Vinyl

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Hipster alternative rock band Bolzer announced the various editions that their godawful debut album Hero will be available in on their Facebook page. The diehard LP version will exclusively be available in colored vinyl. Bolzer call the color “semen/copper burst“. Inspired by what ends up in Bolzer’s toilet when they forget to use an enema, Hero shares the same color as the mushy results of vigorous, unprotected anal sex.

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Bolzer Blow Up

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Hipster alternative rock band Bolzer blew up at Death Metal Underground on their Funbook page for telling the world what the first preview track, “I AM III”, from their upcoming album Hero actually was: vocal harmony focused alternative rock with generic riffing in the middle for no reason other than to pretend that their random music is metal and to “connect” two unrelated rock parts. Our staff’s commentary is after the jump.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Iron Coneheads

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Death Metal Underground constantly receives new batches of rock music masquerading as “blackened death metal” for the scenester, “buy everything” market. We microwave these promotional materials inside the homes of people we hate.

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Bölzer Preview Hipster Christmas Carol

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Black/death ‘n’ roll band Bolzer premiered a track that sounds like the pretentious hipster occult version of the Beach Boys from their upcoming debut LP, Hero.  Their prior EPs had a few creative riffs in boring, meandering , and more boring alt rock songs. Rather than increasing the amount of actually meaningful musical content or improving their songwriting skills, Bolzer have tailored themselves to target the hipsters consuming the idiot safe-space pseudo-metal promulgated by Profound Lore, Vice, and MetalSucks. Will the bearded, flannel cutoff short short wearers be grossly offended by the runes tattooed onto Bolzer’s beer bellies?

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