Iron Bonehead Triggers Witchhunt by Portland Maoists

Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Seth Berg.

It seems the Portland neoliberals weren’t content with indoctrinating gullible college students into their pseudoscientific belief system and badgering people for triggering them, since anyone who’s anyone has had to contrive some sort of PTSD in the past five years to keep with the trends.

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Upcoming Unaussprechlichen Kulten Album

Unaussprechlichen Kulten have a new record, Keziah Lilith Medea (Chapter X), coming out on Iron Bonehead Productions June 2nd. Baphomet Pan Shub-Niggurath was good so this is one of the few death metal releases this year that Death Metal Underground is looking forward to. Hopefully our staff won’t stick the CD in the toaster upon hearing the new Sammath record.

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Bolzer – Hero Diehard Colored Vinyl

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Hipster alternative rock band Bolzer announced the various editions that their godawful debut album Hero will be available in on their Facebook page. The diehard LP version will exclusively be available in colored vinyl. Bolzer call the color “semen/copper burst“. Inspired by what ends up in Bolzer’s toilet when they forget to use an enema, Hero shares the same color as the mushy results of vigorous, unprotected anal sex.

Bolzer Blow Up

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Hipster alternative rock band Bolzer blew up at Death Metal Underground on their Funbook page for telling the world what the first preview track, “I AM III”, from their upcoming album Hero actually was: vocal harmony focused alternative rock with generic riffing in the middle for no reason other than to pretend that their random music is metal and to “connect” two unrelated rock parts. Our staff’s commentary is after the jump.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Iron Coneheads

coneheads-tainted-love

Death Metal Underground constantly receives new batches of rock music masquerading as “blackened death metal” for the scenester, “buy everything” market. We microwave these promotional materials inside the homes of people we hate.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews 9/24/2016

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Some sorry schmuck has to shovel it into a hole and set it on fire.

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Bölzer Preview Hipster Christmas Carol

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Black/death ‘n’ roll band Bolzer premiered a track that sounds like the pretentious hipster occult version of the Beach Boys from their upcoming debut LP, Hero.  Their prior EPs had a few creative riffs in boring, meandering , and more boring alt rock songs. Rather than increasing the amount of actually meaningful musical content or improving their songwriting skills, Bolzer have tailored themselves to target the hipsters consuming the idiot safe-space pseudo-metal promulgated by Profound Lore, Vice, and MetalSucks. Will the bearded, flannel cutoff short short wearers be grossly offended by the runes tattooed onto Bolzer’s beer bellies?

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Solar Mass Premiere “Weaponised” from Pseudomorphosis

solar mass - pseudomorphosis cassette cover

Solar Mass, featuring former Diocletian members, announced that their debut recording of death/speed metal, Pseudomorphosis, will be released on October 3rd on cassette by Iron Bonehead Productions with the higher-fidelity CD and LP formats to follow afterwards. Iron Bonehead premiered a track, “Weaponised” on Soundcloud while the cover was drawn by Rok of Sadistik Exekution.

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Vomitor – The Escalation (2012)

vomitor the escalation

Article by Lance Viggiano.

The Escalation perfects the misunderstood Australian art of Cimmerian metal – a deliberately low-brow affair which has little tangible relationship to the Common Practice Period and therefore easily panned. Vomitor deliberately flaunt rock’s loud and emotive ethos through boorish motifs qualified further by a thin and mid-centric texture executed in characteristically poor-taste. Constructed primarily out of recombination of past forms, The Escalation is a deliberately retro affair which succeeds by forming a singular and immediately identifiable voice. Historical precedence for this identity is found in the work of Spear of Longinus – specifically the first demo contained within Black Sun Society. Vomitor do not present a way forward for metal; instead the entity finely maps a territory which was discovered but left largely unexplored by ancestors who clung to the safety and security of the coastlines looking into an inhospitable thicket which obscures a familiar but nonetheless unique landscape.

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Kawir – Father Sun Mother Moon (2016)

kawir - father sun, mother moon

Article by David Rosales.

Kawir’s Father Sun Mother Moon strikes one as simple and mediocre pagan pop metal. From the recycled tunes to the standard, swinging rhythms of the genre that make actual metalheads cringe, Kawir has collected and presented them all to us on their new album. Kawir debases their music, pandering in the same way as those worthless politically-correct pop-dressed-as-metal bands like Turisas do. It really does sound like these Greeks could have been hanging out with Congressman Freddy Lim and Jesse ‘Djent-Black’ Liu of Cthonic, or drinking beers with the geeks from Tengger Cavalry. All these accusations are well deserved. The album therefore deserves to be dismissed as third-rate pap. Despite this, it is useful to look at this inconsequential list of boring tunes in terms of their de-evolution from Kawir’s previous album, Isotheos.

The concrete symptoms of banality and mediocrity can be found in the overall decline in richness of melodies and rhythms. Melodies have been shortened: they return much quicker to the root tone and rely more heavily on simple-silly rhythms ‘typical’ of Pagan pop. The variety of the types of melodies (that is the different arrangements of the motifs and their variations) are much less in number. Exactly the same with the rhythm guitars: less variety and where there was minimalism (which by definition, cannot be further simplified without loss of value), we now find a dumbing-down. The strict cyclic structures are far more evident in this album, replacing the quasi-linear Eastern European black metal which was used on their 2012 release. This uncreative disaster reaches unbelievable proportions when we encounter a dull track where after subjecting the audience to an ad nauseam repetition of a melody over a beer metal rhythm, Kawir simply fades out to avoid any shock to casual radio listeners in order to make it easier for the corporate broadcaster to place advertisements right after it.

While Isotheos melded melody and rhythm into a phrasal motific force, Father Sun Mother Moon clearly separates the paradigms of melody and rhythm. This in itself does not mean the end of the world but nothing is done to balance the combined simplicity. In fact, repetition plays an even greater role in filling out the runtime of this album: variations are less frequent, variation distance is smaller or unrelated, and single melodies or rhythms contain less content (movements from the tonic, manner in which they return to the tonic, temporary movements to different tonics, and even number of notes). Some sections on Father Sun Mother Moon reach the heights of the previous record but the overall quality is definitely lost.