Atmospheric Dendrophilia

Recently, I found a Youtube channel called “Atmospheric Black Metal Albums” devoted to what hipster urban lumberjacks have termed “atmospheric black metal”. We must call attention to the horrible Youtube, supposedly “black metal” sub-genre festering right under our noses for it is wholly different from the Eastern European flowing varietal.

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Morbid Angel Fail at Shilling Kingdoms Disdained

Former death metal band Morbid Angel announced that their upcoming crappy album will be called Kingdoms Disdained and revealed themselves to have wussed out as much as Chuck Schuldiner from Death.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Zyklon B For Bandcamp

Hipster and poseur blood must be shed!

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A View from The Mortal Horizon

Story by Max Bloodworth

Daniel Maarat was a proscriptor, and he went to no-man’s land looking for the best of metals. He searched for years and years, not finding much that would appease his Blood Gods. After a time, he settled on a slab of cyberspace with more traffic than Toilet Ov Hell, but less traffic than MetalSucks. Within this Hessian Hive, he found a deserted forum with rather nice acoustics. It was here in desolation where Maarat belonged.

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Metal Molester 2017 So Far SMR


Article by Linus Douglas.

As these Observer posers speed past 2017’s halfway point, they present a selection that is indeed a dumpster fire representative of the shit pool that their mainstream metal listening provides them with. Only those who need to be eradicated (rapists, communists, child molesters, serial killers, hipsters, etc.) genuinely think that stoner rock and boring, slow heavy rock bands are examples of heavy metal. Their piss-poor “culling” (badass, huh?) from the “metal cauldron” of mee-maw’s recipes was as follows:

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