Article by Linus Douglas.
As these Observer posers speed past 2017’s halfway point, they present a selection that is indeed a dumpster fire representative of the shit pool that their mainstream metal listening provides them with. Only those who need to be eradicated (rapists, communists, child molesters, serial killers, hipsters, etc.) genuinely think that stoner rock and boring, slow heavy rock bands are examples of heavy metal. Their piss-poor “culling” (badass, huh?) from the “metal cauldron” of mee-maw’s recipes was as follows:
Tags: 2017, AIDS, artificial brain, aseethe, brandon seabrook, cinema cinema, endon, GRID, hipster idiocy, john frum, kelly moran, luminous vault, metalcore, observer, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, sadistic metal reviews, screamo, stoner rock, techdeaf, tek-deth, toby dive
Review contributed by Jon Browning.
Whoredom Rife are exactly what is wrong with modern “underground” “metal”. All these posers do is take a bunch of riffs from records over twenty years old, chop them up, and randomly attach a few of them together to make… a track.
Tags: black 'n roll, dommedagskvad, funderground, melodeaf, metalcore, modern metal, norway, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, rehash, review, scenesters, terratur possession, terratur possessions, trash, trends mosh core fun, whoredom rife
Reviews contributed by Norma Angelina Dagostino.
Tags: Abigor, aluk todolo, black 'n roll, crypto-indie, diapsiquir, drastus, elend, funeral mist, hipster bullshit, hipster invasion, hipster music, homoeroticism, homosexuality, ihsahn, kathaaria, malign, marquis de sade, metalcore, nihil nocturne, norma evangelium diaboli, poser metal, posers, poseur metal, poseurs, rebirth of nefast, sadistic metal reviews, scenesters, screamo, shit
Slayer‘s Kerry King dished out his top ten favorite metal albums to Rolling Stone as part of the geriatric soft rock magazine’s imbecilic Top 100 Metal Albums list.
Tags: ac/dc, black sabbath, Exodus, hard rock, Heavy Metal, iron maiden, judas priest, kerry king, mainstream metal, master of puppets, mercyful fate, metallica, news, NWOBHM, ozzy osbourne, rainbow, rolling stone, slayer, Speed Metal, venom
Septicflesh, a bunch of Greek cyber crusts with Klingon facial hair who wear rubber suits like villains on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, released two new preview tracks from their upcoming album that will of course be awful, Codex Omega, which comes out I don’t know when and I don’t care who is releasing and you should not care either and should listen to Darkthrone – Soulside Journey or something instead as even checking out these two tracks is a waste of your precious little time on Earth.
Tags: AIDS, cancer, deathcore, homosexuality, lyric video, metalcore, new track, news, season of mist, septicflesh, upcoming release, video
Tau Cross premiered a new properly seizure-inducing music video on Youtube this week to promote their upcoming second album, Pillar of Fire, which comes out July 21st on Relapse Records . “Killing the King” shows the group’s anti-authoritarian bent which Relapse is trying to turn political to appeal to their scenester sludge rock and metalcore audience’s hatred of everything Donald Trump despite the band’s obvious intent and medievalisms in the published lyrics.
Tags: arthurian legend, crust, Heavy Metal, king arthur, lyrics, mainstream metal, Medieval, medieval metal, medievalism, Middle Ages, music video, new track, Post-Punk, procopius, relapse, relapse records, rob miller, Speed Metal, t.s. elliot, tau cross, upcoming album, upcoming release
by Max Schoenbach
Spite Extreme Wing was an Italian black metal band with a vision rooted in their national culture or what they perceived as a manifestation of its innate transcendental aspect. On their older albums they are perhaps comparable to Sigrblot or Kaevum, either aesthetically, or by following similar approach to constructing identity of their art. (more…)
Tags: Black Metal, neo-folk, review, spite extreme wing
Recently and rightfully deported Z-list speed metal rehashers Evil Invaders announced on their Funbook page that they have a new album of trends mosh core fun coming out. Feed Me Violence comes out September 29th on Napalm Records. Evil Invaders promised to sell out and have lame glam metal choruses like Testament. You know this is going to stink like a bathroom stall at a truck stop with a few holes drilled into the dividers.
Tags: beer metal, evil invaders, funderground, glam rock, hard rock, Napalm Records, rehash, Speed Metal, stinking shit, trends mosh core fun, upcoming release, worthless scum
Every once in awhile us vile black metal badasses need to suit up. Maybe it’s to please a family member at a wedding, maybe it’s to respect the dead at a funeral, maybe it’s because the soul was sold to embrace the nihilistic corporate world once sworn against (ugh). Nevertheless, life in the first world necessitates this occasional cleaner cut image and perhaps this projection may even impress some strangers in open territory. But deep down underneath this fabrication lurks that sadistic primal savage that lusts for chaos, destruction, and pure fucking mayhem.
Tags: brown-forman, gentleman jack, jack daniel's, liquor, whiskey, whisky
Emperor are currently preparing to tour in celebration of the twentieth anniversary their second album, the third rate Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk. While Emperor kept on wearing armor, Anthems to the Welkin at Dusk saw Emperor simplify their trademark complex, almost symphonic Norwegian black metal sound down to two to three note speed metal influenced riffs with neo-classical wank leads in conventional verse-chorus-verse heavy metal songs to appeal to a wider, Wacken-going audience.
Tags: anniversary, anthems to the welkin at dusk, cash grab, emperor, festivals, lame metal, power metal, pseudo-prog, pseudo-progressive, sell-out, upcoming tours