Vincent Crowley Attacks Snowflakes

In a Facebook post, Vincent Crowley (Acheron) attacked the special snowflakes whining about metal and the funderground social justice warrior promoters who refuse to book his new thrash metal band Infidel Reich due to their Third Reich imagery and anti-Islamic lyrics.

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Malevolent Creation Seeks New Vocalist

Malevolent Creation are seeking a new vocalist on their Funbook page. The band has apparently fired Bret Hoffman. If you can do Malevolent Creation style vocals and are desperate to be in a known death metal band to validate your metal credentials as you have you low-self esteem, you should contact Phil Fasciana. Otherwise just contact him if you have a better growl than Dave Ingram and want to play shows despite lacking musicianship.

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“Kim Kelly’s Hand” Rehosted

The creators of the hilarious “Kim Kelly’s hand” Facebook fan page saved and emailed Death Metal Underground the unused pictures submitted to the page and the comedic captions on those already there. The page was accused by the Parents Music Resource Center of Facebook of being bullying despite Kim Kelly being an infamous public figure as a serially lying fake journalist. Since it made the crustfund communist cry, Death Metal Underground has of course decided to host the captioned pictures too funny for Facebook’s socialist worker’s paradise:

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Kim Kelly Whines; Facebook Censors Fan Page

Facebook deleted the  hilarious “Kim Kelly’s Hand” fan page that a few Death Metal Underground readers made in awe of her claw hand and how she is able to type ever-flowing streams of diarrhea despite such a hideous deformity. Facebook accused those few hilarious metal heads of bullying. Apparently jabs at a public figure are not allowed on Facebook’s socialist worker’s playplace. Kim Kelly is the crustfund communist Vice Noisey fake journalist, serial liar, alleged groupie, and supposedly hypocritical racist trying to ruin the careers of metal bands she finds politically objectionable. Kelly called Dismember and Cannibal Corpse sexist and constantly shills for crappy crossover thrash, noise rock, hipster whine rock, and female-fronted deathcore bands.

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Trey Azagthoth’s Mom Mad Dave Vincent Formed Morbid Angel Cover Band

Former Morbid Angel frontman Evil Diamond Dave Vincent formed a Morbid Angel cover band, I Am Morbid, with the last Morbid Angel drummer, Tim Yueng, to tour South America with. Apparently the whole country music, honky tonk bar band schtick hasn’t been working out for Evil D. The transition from Necromonicon to NASCAR failed to bring fruit financial rewards.

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Metalgate: Facebook Censors Graveland

Leftist social media propagandists and sellers of personal information Facebook decided to play Thought Police and delete Rob Darken‘s two official Graveland pages permanently. Facebook has been caught before pandering to social justice warrior whiners who want to keep the internet a safe space free of all speech from any one who doesn’t shout the slogans from their little red books in the street. This new act of corporate censorship was probably due to anti-fascists reporting Graveland after they attacked and shutdown the Messe des Morts festival in Montreal a few weeks ago.

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Bolzer Blow Up

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Hipster alternative rock band Bolzer blew up at Death Metal Underground on their Funbook page for telling the world what the first preview track, “I AM III”, from their upcoming album Hero actually was: vocal harmony focused alternative rock with generic riffing in the middle for no reason other than to pretend that their random music is metal and to “connect” two unrelated rock parts. Our staff’s commentary is after the jump.

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