INDIVIDUALISM KILLS CHILDREN (NOT GUNS)

Welp, another school shooting is in the books, and this means we begin the cycle of another nationwide emotional meltdown of reactionary liberals over a founding pillar of our “evil” American culture.  Since metal heads and metal journalists everywhere are weighing in on this, and since most (all?) of them are too dumb to say anything logical or researched, it once again has fallen on the staff of DMU to be the sole voice of high-IQ reason in the metal world.  For despite guns being legal in America for over 200 years (with over 200 being free of school shootings), despite automatics/machine guns being loose on the streets since at least the 1920s (with 70 of those years being free of school shootings), and despite gun ownership being in steep decline the last few decades (despite school shootings being on the rise), liberals everywhere continue to fall for the totalitarian “give up the gun” scam and blame our second amendment for the mass murder of innocent children.  While stats clearly prove otherwise, many miss the true root of this tragedy: the individualism our society has been embracing since the cultural revolution of the 1960s.

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TRUMP CURSE ANNIHILATES MARILYN MANSON

 

Beta-male posterboy and alternative rock tragedy Marilyn Manson has been tormented beyond comprehension ever since publicly disrespecting God’s hand-picked ruler of this nation, Donald J. Trump.  After filming a music video of in which he beheads a Trump look-alike, Manson has been the perhaps the most decimated victim of the merciless Trump Curse– he was crushed by a stage prop last October, he cut his set short following a complete psycological breakdown while onstage a few days ago, and now he has become the latest victim of leftism’s idol-killing suicide machine: the #metoo movement.  In an article featured in The Guardian this morning, tweets were featured of a Chinese actress accusing Manson of both sexually harassing victims and making racist remarks:
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ANTIFA SHUTS DOWN TAAKE, THE HUMAN TROLL BAND

The emasculated remnants of America’s Antifa are at it again!  Now mostly regulated to a handful of stay-at-home activists, the boys at Antifa made enough calls to frighten a Manhattan art gallery into canceling a Taake show scheduled for next month.  While they likely believed Taake to be a weird performance artist after seeing pictures from that time Hoest’s host broke through his pants, the trust fund kids running (le) poisson rogue (not a typo, they’re apparently too cool for capital letters) were probably scared off by that time Taake wore a swastika in Germany.  Or perhaps someone just showed them those legendary dick pics.
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GIBSON IS DOOMED!

Gibson Guitars are on the verge of bankruptcy per an article in the Nashville Times.  The famed company is currently in a shitload of debt and its bondholders are panicking as their CFOs are abandoning ship. Despite bringing in a billion dollars last year, the prospects of Gibson are uncertain which begs the question: What future do high-end guitar brands have in a world that’s gravitating towards electronic music? And more importantly- is the death of electric guitar closer than we think, like many are claiming?

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Dave Mustaine Wants One More Big 4

Megadeth guitarist Dave Mustaine has been vocal these past few weeks of pushing through one final Big 4 tour before Slayer hits the nursing home. He believes, however, that there’s no chance Metallica will be in. Mustaine, committed to getting a piece of the Slayer retirement pie, goes on to say he’ll headline a big 3 tour (minus the big 1) or perhaps start a new big 4 with two other thrash metal giants….
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Dark Horizons: Upcoming Metal for 02/09/2018

As we predicted at the close of last year, a storm of power metal is coming at last and replacing the soon to be dead genre of post-metal.  With beta-male hipsters turning toward retro rehashes of classic metal they are at last abandoning the pretentious nasalings of post metal.  Let us rejoice in the death of post-black metal!

With Fridays becoming the new Tuesdays for metal releases (for reasons unbeknownst), let’s turn our attention to the next meaty drop of 2018 extreme metal.
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Twilight of the CD

The compact disc- the highest quality and most sensible of all physical music formats- appears to be seeing its final days. Last Friday, Best Buy announced that by July 4th, all CDs will be removed from the shelves of the retail giant. What’s worse still, Target is engaged in fierce negotiations with executives from all of the labels that still stock CDs on its shelves and all signs point to the CD’s exit from Target as well.

With a compact disc exodus from retailers coupled with the vinyl-marketing-scheme’s continuance in places like Urban Outfitters, we’re likely seeing a complete retreat of the CD to the deep underground in the near future. But with smaller labels going all in on the cheap cost and high scene point tallies available in tapes, exactly what future does the CD format have?  And what is to come for metal CDs especially?
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/dmg/ DEATH METAL GENERAL: RETIREMENT PLAGUE EDITION

Satyricon were always a band to live in the shadow of better bands and thus it is only fitting for their farewell U.S. tour to suffer the same fate.  The band announced their last trip to the United States just hours before Slayer’s shocking announcement that they will soon cease to exist. Understandably, this caused the Satyricon “news” to be buried deep under a pile of apathy. Feels bad, man.

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