These Musicians May Be Executed When Sweden Institutes Sharia Law

Sweden is lost.

With an unstoppable invasion of Muslim migrants and a judicial system that refuses to prosecute their crimes, the nation’s progressive government leaders have definitively surrendered the future of Sweden into a Muslim majority.  It will only be a matter of time until a revolution occurs similar to that of Iran in 1979, when the country’s republic is overthrown and replaced by an Islamic theocracy and hijabs are forced on the women of Sweden.  It’s a reality that Swedes had better accept sooner than later as it has already happened to many other less willing nations within the last century.

Under Sharia law, there are harsh penalties for blasphemy, witchcraft, female indecency (exposing your body/not wearing a veil in public) and devil worship- ranging from a life in prison (with the press declaring you committed suicide) to public execution.  There will be no mercy shown for those who profaned/denied the image of God whether the act occurred during or after the new rule of law was instituted.  Therefore, any and all Swedish bands with such lyrical content will be quickly and efficiently strung up en masse when the new government arrives.

And if all this sounds crazy to you, just read the tale of Iranian metal band Confess and the horrors its musicians have been forced to endure.  After recording the lyrically harmless In Pursuit of Dreams (of which song titles include “Did You Get My Last Massage?” and “What Doesn’t Kill You Make You Exhausted!”), the band’s vocalist Nikan Kosravi were thrown into prison, forced in solitary confinement, and denied bail for almost a month.  The kid’s parents had to sell their houss and pay $30,000 for him to be released, and he faced the punishment of death by hanging for the crime of blasphemy.  He eventually hired a human trafficker to smuggle him out of the country to escape a 6 year prison sentence!

FYI Those are Saudi Arabian women being hanged, for all of you hijab-wearing feminists out there

But all the while brainless beta-cuck musicians existing in a Gothenburg liberal bubble like Tomas Lindberg of At the Gates will be decrying nationalism and populism as the horrifying bogyman that threatens their world.  They will cheer the eventual institution of Islamic government as “the end of a tyrannical Christian reign” and will not even notice the militants sneak up behind them until the bag is thrown over their heads.  Some of their fans will cry and throw tantrums and in retaliation be beaten in the streets, but they will ultimately do nothing as their Swedish death metal heroes are hanged by the neck right before their very eyes.

If you have ever played in a Swedish death or black metal band, you’d better get the hell out of the country before the day of Sharia comes (I’m giving it less than ten years).  And if you’re in a band on the below list, I am not kidding you: you are going to die!!!  To the rest of the world, prepare yourself, because it is likely only a matter of time before the musicians of following bands will likely be executed in front of a liberal metal world that was too dumb and too feminine to stand up to what is happening:

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Twilight of the Guitarist?

It is a harsh truth that all things in our finite world will end at some point or another.  I was fortunate enough to learn this lesson at young age, with friends moving out of state and death claiming some of those closest to me. But there are many who are not so lucky to experience the cruelty of life during their youth and are now struggling to adapt to the harsh political and cultural upheaval that is sweeping the world at large.

This failure mainly stems from a cultural and educational system that leads us to to believe none of the beloved things in our safe American bubble will ever see massive change and upheaval- that our world and lives probably won’t be much different than that of our parents and teachers. But already, we are witnessing the death of malls, the value of college degrees, major retail chains, cable television, Hollywood movies, mainstream media, atheism, and an the age of idealism.

And sadly for fans of rock and metal music, the final hour may be at hand for a beacon of our pride and culture: the guitar hero.  With the impending bankruptcy of Gibson and now the imminent bankruptcy of Guitar Center, it would be foolish for anyone to still proclaim the immortality of the “guitar god.” For all things of this world must one day end, and dare I must ask… could the twilight of the guitarist truly be at hand?

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¡So Woke! Decibel Mag Goes Full Soyboy

Decibel Magazine has miraculously erased three decades worth of credibility by posting the most embarrassingly tearful editorial that metal journalism has ever seen.  It is impossible to read damn the thing without formulating the mental picture of a balding, big breasted obese man in his 40s watching CNN with his even more obese tattooed wife as both cry their eyes out at the far-left propaganda being spewed out at them. 

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KILLJOY IS DEAD

One of death metal’s pioneering vocalists has passed away today.  Frank “Killjoy” Pucci of Necrophagia died this morning as revealed on the band’s Facebook page. One of the original tape traders of death metal, Killjoy’s legendary vocals on the phenomenal  Season of the Dead album (which predated Death’s Scream Bloody Gore by several months) paved the wave for the death/black metal technique and inspired some of the greatest artists in metal.
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PISS ON TERRORIZER MAGAZINE’S GRAVE!

It has become apparent that the mentally ill mutant publisher of the failed Terrorizer Magazine pulled a classic Blake Judd-style heist on everyone stupid enough to subscribe to it in 2017.  Back in September, Terrorizer published a post on Facebooktarget=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external” indicating that “they’re having publishing problems” and promised to send everyone’s missing magazines that week.  In reality, subscribers were lucky if they got 1/4 of the year’s magazines delivered as most never received at least 3 of the issues and even got shafted on digital copies (!!!).  Absolutely no one has received the December issue (it was never published), yet everyone has been billed for the full year both last year AND THIS YEAR even though the last magazine was published in November!  I was just as shocked to hear about this as you were: I couldn’t believe people actually paid money to read Terrorizer last year!

So as of yesterday the lefty metal media has finally been reporting on the embarrassing death of Terrorizer Magazine, but so far they are taking a sympathetic tone.  But why is this, after the harshness they displayed on Blakey Judd for ripping off his fans in the exact same fashion?  The answer has been thus far carefully concealed by the liberal metal media outlets reporting on this:  Terrorizer’s publisher is trans.target=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external”
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FRANK MULLEN RETIRES

Aging Suffocation vocalist Frank Muller has officially announced his retirementtarget=”_blank” rel=”nofollow external” from music as the extreme metal retirement wave continues.  Spanning an almost 3 decade career exclusively with the same band, Frank had one of the deepest gutteral vocal tones of the early 90s and enjoyed an unusual amount of success in his later years when Suffocation’s technical death metal style became interchangeable with the deathcore fad of last decade.  Frank now plans on attempting an acting career but will probably end up giving up on it soon and opening up a pizza restaurant in Staten Island instead.

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OZZY IS RIGHT: “NON-CONFORMITY” IS CONFORMIST, METAL MUST REBEL

Death Metal Underground’s wise founder Brett Stevens posted a thoughtful article last weekend about the duality of exterior and interior being.  It describes how in these modern times we’re seeing an illusion of non-conformity that masks the conformity of thought and nature within.  This is an effective tactic of those in power be they media, silicon valley, deep state, or (in the case of metal) record executives and journalists:  get people to look different, but think the same.  This also masterfully articulates why metal is at its lowest creative point in the entire history of its existence: fans and musicians alike have accepted conformity of thought and sound through satisfaction with mere non-conformist aesthetics and culture.  And the only way to escape this rut is to violently rebel against everything we have been conditioned to believe is “metal” and “metal culture.”

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POLL: CRISIS ACTOR OR SHOOTING SURVIVOR?

Since other media outlets are weighing in on the recent debate on crisis actors being used to push gun control in the wake of mass shootings, let’s see what DMU readers think!  Vote in the comments section below:

(a)  crisis actor

(b) shooting survivor

(c) where is the metal?

(d) DMU IS DEAD AND THE EDITOR IS A FALSE WAHHH MUAH HESSIANS WAHHHHH MUAH PHILOSOPHY WAHHHHH

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