Bölzer Are Neither Racists Nor Nazis

Okoi Jones, guitarist and vocalist of Swiss black ‘n’ roll alternative rock band Bolzer, declared on the band’s Facebook page that he and Bolzer are in no way racists, sexists, fascists, or Nazis in response to Paul Resnikoff’s apparently libelous virtue signaling:

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Enslaved Finish Recording New Album For Beardos

Sell-out formerly black metal band Enslaved has finished recording another indie rock album for Nuclear Blast Records. Expect every fat guy in flannel with neck pubes to love it almost as much as he loves the smell of putrid mayonnaise that gets stuck in the beard like little white dingle berries.

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Bolzer – Hero Diehard Colored Vinyl

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Hipster alternative rock band Bolzer announced the various editions that their godawful debut album Hero will be available in on their Facebook page. The diehard LP version will exclusively be available in colored vinyl. Bolzer call the color “semen/copper burst“. Inspired by what ends up in Bolzer’s toilet when they forget to use an enema, Hero shares the same color as the mushy results of vigorous, unprotected anal sex.

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Bolzer Blow Up

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Hipster alternative rock band Bolzer blew up at Death Metal Underground on their Funbook page for telling the world what the first preview track, “I AM III”, from their upcoming album Hero actually was: vocal harmony focused alternative rock with generic riffing in the middle for no reason other than to pretend that their random music is metal and to “connect” two unrelated rock parts. Our staff’s commentary is after the jump.

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Sadistic Metal Reviews: Iron Coneheads

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Death Metal Underground constantly receives new batches of rock music masquerading as “blackened death metal” for the scenester, “buy everything” market. We microwave these promotional materials inside the homes of people we hate.

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