Euronymous: Black Metal’s First Hipster


Article contributed to Death Metal Underground by Cullen Toner.

Many of the pariahs seen infesting contemporary American black metal – communism, narcissism, an illusion of extremism – can be traced back to one man: Euroynmous of Mayhem.
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Real Sex with SJWs Contest Winners

Death Metal Underground finally has crowned a winner of our Real Sex with Social Justice Warriors Short Story Contest. GGALLIN1776’s morbid visions of bloody leftist degeneracy have been pounded into our staffs’ brains like a pistol butt cracking open a teenage thug’s skull:

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Antifa Boots Antifa Supporting Metalcore Band

German antifascist communists booted American metalcore band Woe from the lineups of some shows on their current tour due to Woe opening for Inquisition a few times. Woe are one of your standard, screamo random post-hardcore bands pretending to be “US Black Metal” when in reality they are still metalcore. Moreover, Woe being social justice warriors from Brooklyn, New York played several benefit shows for antifa in the US. Now Woe themselves are throwing a fit about leftist crybabies preventing them from playing shows on Facebook as the communist scum decided that since Woe do not march in gay pride parades, probably do not fuck the gaping open wounds of mutilated transvestites, and do not mind opening for bands that once sort of played a simplified form of black metal that Woe occasionally play on Spotify when wanting something heavier to relieve the stress of their service jobs, Woe must be shot with hollow point bullets in the back of the head.

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Real Sex with Social Justice Warriors Short Story Contest

Death Metal Underground has not run a contest in quite some time; since we found our slogan: “Sodomize the Weak” from Blood‘s O Agios Pethane. Our staff collectively feels it is time for another round. Social justice warriors, antifascists, and communists have been annoying the heavy metal world lately. We have decided to counter back with a short story contest.

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Google Endorses Diversity, Multiculturalism, and Antisemitism

Google posted the above image to their homepage as the winner of their annual Doodle 4 Google contest. The picture was drawn by a high-school student who wanted to show that diversity and multiculturalism will let everyone live in peace together. Google endorses such preposterous delusions by selecting such social realism as the winner of their annual contest. Google wants the lazy, the crazy, and the insolent are allowed to loot the first world as they hope, like other multinational corporations that sell cheap crap (text ads), that more potential customers will equal more potential profits.

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Tomas Skogsberg Goes Red

Tomas Skogsberg, the producer of most of the early nineties Swedish death metal classics from Entombed and Dismember at Sunlight Studio, was interviewed by the Swedish Communist Party’s Proletaren news site a couple of years ago. Skogsberg of course speaks  about his collectivist ideals and why he eventually became a card-carrying Communist. He mentions that the Boss HM-2 pedal is only good for chainsaw guitar death metal and is otherwise bullshit. In addition he talks of his love of The Beatles and unpristine, properly dirty productions, and how Sunlight only bought digital audio workstation software in 1995 that he still uses. This could explain why various Swedish bands have noted over the years that Skogsberg let Sunlight Studio fall into disrepair in the mid 90s. Overall, Skogsberg says he is proud of the “rattly and raspy” records he engineered over the course of his career with his favorite production have been Entombed‘s Wolverine Blues, death ‘n’ roll sellout from 1993.

Oakland Police Ally with Antifa Terrorists to Stop Marduk Show

The Oakland Police Department allied with antifascist and communist terrorists to get the Oakland Metro Operahouse to cancel Marduk‘s booked show with Incantation there today on February 18th according to a post on the venue’s Facebook page. Antifascists and communists had previously vowed to attack Marduk’s planned gigs in Oakland and Austin.

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Antifascist and Communist Terrorists Threaten Marduk Tour

Antifascist and Communists have vowed to commit terrorists acts in protest of Swedish war metal (formerly black metal) band Marduk touring the US for the first time in years. The idiotic communist manlets are accusing Marduk of being a “crypto-fascist” band. They will not stop harassing the band, their fans, and concertgoers until all of them are sent to gulags (where work will set them free) or have hollow-point bullets shot into the back of their skulls in the bowels of police stations.

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China Bans VPNs

The People’s Republic of China banned the virtual private networks that hundreds of millions of the 730 million mainland Chinese citizens connected to the internet use to bypass the Communist Party’s “Great Firewall” and obtain truthful information. The Chinese Ministry of Industry and Information Technology announced this crackdown on the use of unsupervised internet connections earlier this week. The Ministry said they would be monitoring all mainland internet service providers, content deliverers, and data centers for “illegal information”. Communists once again are attempting to be thought police as otherwise they would not be able to maintain power.

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Leftists Ignore Scientific Research & Pander to the Mentally Ill

Johns Hopkins has recently started offering genital reassignment surgery to patients, commonly called transsexual or transgendered, with the body dysmorphia of deluding themselves the opposite gender from what they physically are. This change comes decades after the hospital discontinued the surgery to no positive psychological long term benefit to patients who underwent it, only dysfunctional genitalia and incontinence. This change is probably due to the leftist Humans Rights Council condemning the recent scientific report from two noted Hopkins physicians, Dr. Lawrence S.Mayer and Dr. Paul McHugh as, “An attack on LGBT communities.” Promulgators of sexual deviancy Human Rights Council also attacked the freedom of speech of Mayer and McHugh along with Johns Hopkins’ academic freedom, threatening that “its Healthcare Equality Index score will be reduced substantially” as “the HRC Foundation’s Healthcare Equality Index will rate hospitals with a numerical score and will consider whether hospitals and health systems’ practices reflect “’responsible citizenship’.”

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