The Sad Pandemic of West Coast “Black Metal”

Today’s American black metal has found itself right within the parameters of Poe’s Law which, when applied to this abomination of a music scene, would sound something like this:

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Vice Magazine’s Embarrassing French Black Metal Film

As part of their quest to ruin everything interesting and appealing about both metal and life, the gullible cronies of media pyramid scheme Vice Magazine have journeyed to the grim countrysides of the French black metal underground to film what is undoubtedly the most boring film in the history of music. While Vice markets this abomination as a “documentary” calling it such is actually a misleading statement as the film is little more than a collection of autistic ramblings without a single question or narrative statement. In any case, the eyesore is a bastardization of the region’s legacy as any shred of decency still possessed by the founding members of Mutiilation and Drakkar Productions have been urinated directly into the toilet as they hammed it up for the same forces that they claim to be rebelling against. Fortunately, the film’s lack of credible sources and unbelievably poor post-production prevents it from succeeding in the demystification of what was once one of the more intriguing regional black metal scenes.

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Dark Economic Truths of Underground Metal

Recently many of the other “metal” websites, blogs, publications et cetera have been doing articles about the business side of music industry. Unsurprisingly none of these articles had the testicular fortitude to address the ugly reality of the underground metal economy as they are written by either slaves to the machine itself or losers who genuinely believe that they have “careers” in music which heavily depend on acceptance by the community. Since the Death Metal Underground staff bow to no masters social or corporate, we are in the rare position give you the truth in its rawest form. So with absolute disregard for the powers that be in metal, let’s take an honest look inside this machine to see how it really works.

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Bill Steer Admits Making Arena Rock

Bill Steer, the guitarist of sell-out grindcore legends turned butt rock turkey Carcass, did an interview with hipster social justice warrior rock website Vice Noisey last week where he ranked Carcass’s albums in order of his favorites. Bill Steer admitted that Necroticism: Descanting the Insalubrious was pretentious death ‘n’ roll instrumental wank and that continuing in that style would not have provided any future for the band so they started writing heavy metal for arena rock fans on Heartwork as only about three hundred people at every big show Carcass played actually liked death metal at all. Bill Steer finally dropped all pretense of Carcass’s later material being traditional heavy metal and admitted it is actually written as arena rock in order to please the most people.
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Kim Kelly Whines; Facebook Censors Fan Page

Facebook deleted the  hilarious “Kim Kelly’s Hand” fan page that a few Death Metal Underground readers made in awe of her claw hand and how she is able to type ever-flowing streams of diarrhea despite such a hideous deformity. Facebook accused those few hilarious metal heads of bullying. Apparently jabs at a public figure are not allowed on Facebook’s socialist worker’s playplace. Kim Kelly is the crustfund communist Vice Noisey fake journalist, serial liar, alleged groupie, and supposedly hypocritical racist trying to ruin the careers of metal bands she finds politically objectionable. Kelly called Dismember and Cannibal Corpse sexist and constantly shills for crappy crossover thrash, noise rock, hipster whine rock, and female-fronted deathcore bands.

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Kim Kelly Interviews Kerry King; Reveals Crab Claw

Alleged groupie, liar, white genocide advocate, and humanoid orc communist Kim Kelly interviewed surviving Slayer guitarist / sideshow attraction Kerry King for Vice Noisey on Youtube. Kerry King, wearing war metal shades, talks about Slayer’s influences and development on their early, formative material.

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Montreal Police Condone Antifa Attack

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No arrests, no tickets handed out. The protesters were aggressive toward the organizers (of the concert) but not towards police … When we told them to disperse they did so.

Said Montreal police constable Benoît Boisselle about the Communist antifascist terrorists who attacked the the police protecting the Messe des Morts festival where Graveland was scheduled to play. The Antifa thugs were clearly supported not only by the communist Industrial Workers of the World union but by the local Montreal city government too. Three of the perpetrators identities are known: recidivist junkie and anti-Semite Katie Nelson, Éric Sédition (a card-carrying member of the IWW), and Alexandre Bouleric (member of the Canadian federal parliament from a district in Montreal). All walk free to terrorize again.

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#Metalgate: Vice Backed Indie Bands Drop Out of Pentagram Tour as Publicity Stunt

bobby liebling

Two indie female-fronted bands (Wax Idols and King Woman) have dropped off pseudo-metal, psychedelic rock band Pentagram’s ongoing tour, breaking their separate agreements with promoters. The women in both bands were surprised when ex-junkie Pentagram frontman Bobby Liebling hit on them. The news of this passive-aggressive move being broken by Vice, both indie bands being backed by Vice, and subsequently embarking on a Vice-funded tour reeks of self-aggrandizing unprofessionalism.

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Another day, another novelty band from media

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What is a novelty band? A band chosen for anything other than its music. Common topics include bands with: women, female singers, minorities, retarded people, gay people, transsexuals, unusual instruments, drug use, JPOP girls and children. Record companies love novelty bands because the media fawns all over them, then the hipsters do, and it sells hype quickly and bypasses the normal metal fans, who are critical of quality instead of being driven by novelty.

The latest novelty comes to us from Vice Magazine who want us to read about Al-Namrood from Saudi Arabia. While it is true that this band may be risking their lives to perform, it seems like they face roughly the same amount of struggle that bands behind the Iron Curtain did back in the 1980s, which means they can circumnavigate authorities to exist, record an album, shoot a video, and be feautured in American media with their faces in the video and not get killed.

As with all novelty stories, this will be short-lived. There have been many tales of heavy metal bands from the Middle East and after the media blitz, these bands have gone nowhere. The quality test is what matters. If you cannot pass the quality test, you are SOL. Al-Namrood will be the latest to fail the quality test because their output is only nominally black metal, not aesthetically distinctive and indeed a bit awkward, and finally, the songwriting is not that memorable at least by metal standards.

“Bat Al Tha ar Nar Muheja” consists of fast melodic riffing in the style of Satyricon Nemesis Divina with a Middle Eastern influence on the choices of scales used. The vocals, on the other hand, sound like something from more recent Absurd albums. The song seems put together in the style favored by Behemoth, where riffs relate marginally to each other and the main point is to follow the vocals and rhythms to a big break and a melodic interlude, after which point the band returns to blasting fast single-picked riffs. While it is not terrible, it is also not exceptional.

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