Matt Harvey Gives MetalSucks the Reach Around

Matt Harvey of deathcore band Exhumed was called up to provide a contrary viewpoint on Decibel Magazine’s website to MetalSucks’ call for a proscription of Hells Headbangers Records, circlejerking around the Blast Beat advertising network.

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Desecrating Satan’s Hipster Country Club Resort


Reviews contributed by Norma Angelina Dagostino.

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Septicflesh Spurt Out Metalcore

Septicflesh, a bunch of Greek cyber crusts with Klingon facial hair who wear rubber suits like villains on the Mighty Morphin Power Rangers, released two new preview tracks from their upcoming album that will of course be awful, Codex Omega, which comes out I don’t know when and I don’t care who is releasing and you should not care either and should listen to DarkthroneSoulside Journey or something instead as even checking out these two tracks is a waste of your precious little time on Earth.

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The Mask of Yosuke Konishi

Metal interview blog Bardo Methodology interviewed Nuclear War Now! Productions owner Yosuke Kinishi¬†earlier this week about his motivations for starting his mostly war metal label. Konishi spoke about his mild misanthropy, veganism, “die hard” edition cash grabs, and how most war metal bands (presumably on his label) fail to live up to the social Darwinism they spout.

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Ihsahn: “What I do now is musically still black metal.”

Ihsahn is recording his upcoming solo album right now in Norway according to Blabbermouth. Furthermore Ihsahn believes that black metal is not a specific type of heavy metal music but rather a mind set and that the random progressive rock and jazzy instrumental masturbation Ihsahn performs now is still actually “black metal” despite not even being metal music to begin with, yet alone black metal.

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Defining Indie “Metal”

As many movies from the 80s and 90s will tell you (e.g. SLC Punk and PCU), youth counter cultural movements of those decades were once various fragmented groups or “tribes” baring their own identity while all opposing the mainstream Whitney Houston and boy bands on the radio. You had your goths, new wavers, punk rockers, emos, ect. at war with the “jocks and cheerleaders” collective of popular kids and, in some cases, at war with each other. But in the years to follow, the deadly combination of multiculturalism and micro culture has effectively ended this conflict as there was no longer a singular popular culture and therefore no “them” in the classic “us vs. them” dynamic. Therefore, these varying counter cultural factions were unified into one ugly all encompassing monstrosity: the hipster.

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Russianvids Exposes Metallica

Youtube conspiracy theory vlogger Russianvids exposed Metallica’s connection to the Masonic-Satanic Illuminati. Russianvids noted many displays of goofy homoerotic antics from James Hetfield, Dave Mustaine, and Kirk Hammet. Lars Urlich’s predilection for kissing and tonguing other men is shown. Russianvids explain this is part of the Masonic conspiracy to condition the general populace into accepting homosexuality as normal rather than statistically abnormal behavior.

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